Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
[Holding 3 guards at gun point, singing] Hello. Sweet Chariot, come to carry me home.
Cameron Poe:
What's going on here?
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
I just want to offer to the pigs.
Cameron Poe:
You can't.
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
Why not?
Cameron Poe:
Well, they're hostages, we need them.
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
[Points the gun at Poe] Why the fuck to you care?
Cameron Poe:
C'mon now. I can think of anything [Kicks the first guard]
Cameron Poe:
better, than putting a [Kicks the second guard]
Cameron Poe:
bullett, into the head of one of these [Kicks the third guard]
Cameron Poe:
fuckers. But you have to ask yourselfthis question. How well you know this Cindino? I don't know him that well myself. He has blown up his own yacht with 3 of his brothers on board. Now why would he eliminate his comerades after they have served their purpose, now think about that.
Cyrus Grissom:
[Coming in] What exactly are we discussing here?
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
Poe does not want me to offfer the pigs.
Cyrus Grissom:
[to Poe] Well, we can't actually stop Diamond Dog from doing this as this is own verision of penal lore. All I want to know how you care at all?
Cameron Poe:
Hey, Cyrus. It's your barbecue man, and it tastes good. I was just telling Mr. [Points to Diamond Dog]
Cameron Poe:
"Dog" here that if it was "my" barbecue, I would wait for that ol' jumbo jet in the sky bafore I start killing off the only leverage.
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
Shut the fuck up.
Cameron Poe:
You want to get high and get laid, shit.
Nathan 'Diamond Dog' Jones:
[Picks up a guard] Oh, fuck this.
Cyrus Grissom:
[Seeing Diamond Dog about to kill the guard] Put the gun down, Nathan. Poe's right. We're going to plan B. Wew're going to get a tractor and a fuel truck, get everybody here and we're going to dig the plane out. [Poe winks at Diamond Dog]
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
[Lee and Longstreet are discussing Harrison's report on the Union army on the night of 30 June] He says the lead element is here with the Third Corps... [he points on the map]
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
... the Sixth right behind... [he points to a different spot]
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
... supported by a column of Federal cavalry. Seven corps altogether. The First and Eleventh are above Taneytown, and there's more cavalry two hours east. There may be as many as 100,000 altogether.
General Robert E. Lee:
Do you believe the man, this Mr. Harrison?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
No choice. Oh, you remember him, sir; the actor from Mississippi?
General Robert E. Lee:
An actor? We move on the word of an actor?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Can't afford not to.
General Robert E. Lee:
[Lee takes off his glasses and sits down in a camp chair] There would be some word from General Stuart. General Stuart would not leave us blind.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Oh, one other thing. Hooker's been replaced. George Meade's the new commander. Harrison read it in the Yankee papers.
General Robert E. Lee:
[thoughtfully] George Meade. Pennsylvania man. Meade would be cautious, I think. Take him some time to get organized. Perhaps we should move more swiftly. There may be an opportunity here.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Yes, sir.
General Robert E. Lee:
Well... [Lee gets up and walks back over to the map table]
General Robert E. Lee:
... no reason to delay. I think we should concentrate here. [he points to a spot on the map]
General Robert E. Lee:
All the roads converge just east of this gap, and this junction will be very necessary.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Yes, sir.
General Robert E. Lee:
I left my spectacles over there. What is the name of this town?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
[Longstreet leans over and reads the name on the map] "Gettysburg."
General Robert E. Lee:
Very well.
Tobias Fünke:
Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor or more of the beloved comic actor?
Carl Weathers:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke:
Yes, that's fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1, 100.
Carl Weathers:
Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke:
[pause] I think I'd like my money back.
George Carlin:
Human beings will do anything, anything. I am convinced. That's why when all those beheadings started in Iraq, it didn't bother me. A lot of people here were horrified, "Whaaaa, beheadings! Beheadings!" What, are you fucking surprised? Just one more form of extreme human behavior. Besides, who cares about some mercenary civilian contractor from Oklahoma who gets his head cut off? Fuck 'em. Hey Jack, you don't want to get your head cut off? Stay the fuck in Oklahoma. They ain't cuttin' off heads in Oklahoma, far as I know. But I do know this: you strap on a gun and go struttin' around some other man's country, you'd better be ready for some action, Jack. People are touchy about that sort of thing. And let me ask you this... this is a moral question, not rhetorical, I'm looking for the answer: what is the moral difference between cuttin' off one guy's head, or two, or three, or five, or ten - and dropping a big bomb on a hospital and killing a whole bunch of sick kids? Has anybody in authority given you an explanation of the difference? Now, in case you're wondering why I have a certain interest, or fascination let's call it, with torture and beheadings and all of those things I have mentioned, is because each of these items reminds me in life over and over again what beasts we human beings really are. When you get right down to it, human beings are nothing more than ordinary jungle beasts. Savages. No different from the Cro Magnon people who lived twenty five thousand years ago. No different. Our DNA hasn't changed substantially in a hundred thousand years. We're still operating out of the lower brain. The reptilian brain. Fight or flight. Kill or be killed. We like to think we've evolved and advanced because we can build a computer, fly an airplane, travel underwater, we can write a sonnet, paint a painting, compose an opera. But you know something? We're barely out of the jungle on this planet. Barely out of the fucking jungle. What we are, is semi-civilized beasts, with baseball caps and automatic weapons.
Jamie Buchman:
Oh my god, don't ever die. 'Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and make the face of heaven so fine that all the world would be in love with night.' Did I ever tell you I played Juliet in the fifth grade? I did. Opposite Steven Palumbo's Romeo. Oy. What an actor he was. He started crying during my monologue when he was supposed to be dead, because he said I was leaning on his arm. Oh my god, don't ever die. I have so much more to tell you, and I'm not interested in telling it to anyone else. And I'm not saying I'd be helpless. I mean, I'm bright and fairly good with money. I mean, I guess I'm cute, right? You would say, 'What, are you kidding me? You, my little friend, are a perfect example of beautiful.' And so I am. ' Cause I am nothing more or less than what I see in your eyes when you look at me. Do you know how long I waited for you? My mother used to say I was too picky, or afraid of commitment, and that's why I was still unmarried by the age of almost 30. But the truth is, I was just looking for you. Do you know how close I came to being a narrow, cold, mistrustful woman? But you have given me a life so big and full and good... and fun! I don't even know what we do, really, besides clean up and complain and wish we were sleeping, but with you, somehow... fun. And I'll tell you a secret. When we got married, I couldn't imagine still wanting to be with anyone all this time later. But I do. It's a miracle to me. You are a miracle. You've made me happy. Which is something I never, ever thought I'd be.
[White approaches Loew in the bathroom, after he refused to answer Exley's questions]
Ellis Loew:
Unless you came in here to wipe my ass, I believe we're through. [White looks at him, silently]
Ellis Loew:
Come on, don't try this "Good Cop-Bad Cop" crap on me. I practically invented it. So what if some homo actor is dead? Boys, girls, ten of them step off the bus to L.A. every day. [White proceeds to smash Loew's head into the mirror and then sticking it into the toilet]
Ellis Loew:
Pull him off me, Exley!
Ed Exley:
I don't know how.
Bud White:
Now, I know you think you're the A-number one hotshot. Well, here's the juice: if I take you out, there'll be ten more lawyers to take your place tomorrow. They just won't come on the bus, that's all! [White drags Loew into his office and dangles him out of the window by his legs until he confesses]
Ed Exley:
Was that how you used to run the "Good Cop-Bad Cop?"
