Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

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Date created: April 2010

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Zack And Miri Make A Porno Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2008

Duration 101 min

Producer(s) Carla Gardini, Laura Greenlee, Scott Mosier...more

Director(s) Kevin Smith...more Kevin Smith...less

Writer(s) Kevin Smith...more Kevin Smith...less

Cast Elizabeth Banks, Seth Rogen, Craig Robinson...more

Genre Comedy, Drama,

[add a quote]

Zack And Miri Make A Porno Quotes

Zack:
Wow, D.P. and editor. You have your shit covered.
Deacon:
Please don't ever say "shit covered" to me again.

Tags:

Brandon:
Oh my god... no!
Miriam Linky:
What?
Brandon:
Granny Panties?
Miriam Linky:
Excuse me?
Brandon:
This is so crazy! I was literally just watching you like right before we got here! This is you, right? [pulls out his iPhone and shows a YouTube clip of Miri in a changing room wearing big underwear. The narrator says "My name's Granny Panties and nobody wants to fuck me! Nothing's whiter then my big gay ass."]
Miriam Linky:
[Miri gasps in horror]
Zack Brown:
Where'd you get that?
Brandon:
Oh, I entered 'gay' and 'ass' and it was the top hit. It's had 200 thousand views in three hours. Honey, you are, like, I'm actually jealous right now cause you're like super famous!
Miriam Linky:
[to Bobby] You're gay?
Bobby Long:
[apologetically] Yeah...
Miriam Linky:
And I'm the internet wearing... a diaper?
Brandon:
Who knew you'd come to Pittsburg and meet a celebrity?
Miriam Linky:
I'm gonna binge drink now until I pass out now.

Tags: Gay Quotes Body Quotes Internet Quotes Right Quotes Us Quotes

Zack Brown:
[to Brandon and Bobby] So, you guys suck each other's cocks, huh?
Brandon:
Oh, like crazy.

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[after the first night's shooting]
Zack:
Hey, how'd it look?
Deacon:
How do you think it looked? It looked like shit going into other shit - in focus.
Zack:
[to Miri] What an artist. That was Kurosawa's motto I think, "Shit going into other shit".

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Brandon:
[fighting with Bobby] The reason... the reason you haven't taken me home to your mother is... your mother with her makeup and her drinking, she's... she's in the closet too!
Zack:
They fight just like *real* people!

Tags: Fighting Quotes Makeup Quotes Reason Quotes Home Quotes Mother Quotes

Zack Brown:
If you heard that someone we graduated with was in a fucking porno movie, you'd watch it, right? I'd watch that guy Brandon suck a cock. I just met him!

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Zack:
We are gonna launch arcing ropes of jism all over this motherfucker! Peace!

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Brandon:
I can't keep my hands off him, I'm so sorry.
Bobby Long:
You've had one too many cosmos.
Brandon:
You know although he does most of the eating in the sack if you know what I mean. In the sack and of the sack.

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Roxanne:
Don't ever get married. It sucks. You stop appreciating each other and you run out of shit to talk about after the first year.

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Zack Brown:
[imagining Miri in a porn film] Oh, my God, yeah.
Miriam Linky:
What? You got an idea?
Zack Brown:
We could make a porno.
Miriam Linky:
Not the idea I was lookin' for.
Zack Brown:
What? No, that is a fuckin' awesome idea. Are you shitting me? That guy, Brandon St. Randy, Bobby Long's boyfriend, he said he makes a hundred grand a year because he shoots and distributes his own porno flicks.
Miriam Linky:
If it's so easy, how come everybody doesn't do it?
Zack Brown:
Because other people have options - and dignity - which we do not have, which puts us in an amazingly advantageous position!

Tags: People Quotes People Quotes Body Quotes Dignity Quotes Us Quotes

[Zack and Delaney are having a conversation]
Customer:
Hi, can I have a coffee? Black?
Delaney:
Can't you see we talking, White?

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Zack Brown:
I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney:
Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown:
But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney:
I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.

Tags: Man Quotes Woman Quotes World Quotes

Quotes of the Day

I never ever thought that I was a giggler. I was the one who could hold it together but I didn't on this... - Ashley Jensen

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