Wedding Crashers

Views: 636

Date created: April 2010

0 fans

Become a Fan!

Related Movies

Wedding Crashers Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2005

Duration 119 min

Producer(s) Peter Abrams, Cale Boyter, Richard Brener...more

Director(s) David Dobkin...more David Dobkin...less

Writer(s) Steve Faber, Bob Fisher...more Steve Faber, Bob Fisher...less

Cast Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken...more

Genre Comedy,

[add a quote]

Wedding Crashers Quotes

Jeremy Grey:
Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.

Tags:

John Beckwith:
Are you going to give a toast?
Claire Cleary:
Yes.
John Beckwith:
Nervous?
Claire Cleary:
A little bit.
John Beckwith:
What are you going to say? [Claire pulls a piece of paper from inside her dress]
John Beckwith:
You keep it in your cleavage.
Claire Cleary:
Nowhere else to put it. Normally I'm not very good at these things, but I think this one's pretty good. [John reads from Claire's notes]
John Beckwith:
"I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did - until I met Craig?"!
Claire Cleary:
Yes, that's funny. It's funny because it's true. People like funny.
John Beckwith:
I know, but the whole funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a *small* thing like "everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha". I think you're better off going with something from the heart. Honestly.
Claire Cleary:
I think people are going to like this.
John Beckwith:
I think you're going to hear crickets.
Claire Cleary:
I think you're wrong.
John Beckwith:
Sounds of silence. Go walk the plank.
Claire Cleary:
Uh uh. I'm sticking to it.
John Beckwith:
Ok, meet me at the back of the room. I'll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.

Claire Cleary:
So is it just about the money?
John Beckwith:
No no, it's about, uh, investing in companies that are ethically and morally defensible.
Sack Lodge:
Well, like what? Give me an example.
John Beckwith:
Like what? Well, there's the company that we have where we're taking the, the fur or the wool from sheep and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew. And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew, then um... make little shirts and pants for other homeless people to sell. It's a pretty good deal.
Jeremy Grey:
[fumbling his words because Gloria is giving him a hand job under the dinner table] People - People helping people.
Claire Cleary:
That's - that's very admirable.
John Beckwith:
Thank you. Although, don't make me out to be a saint just yet. We do turn a small profit. After all, someone has to pay for the, uh, [motions to Jeremy]
John Beckwith:
Lap dancers for the big guy here.
Jeremy Grey:
[laughing pleasurably] Oh, ha ha ha, he's joking around. It feels so good when he jokes.

Tags: People Quotes Company Quotes Giving Quotes People Quotes Pretty Quotes

Jeremy Grey:
John? I need to see you right away. It's important.
John Beckwith:
[Walking into Jeremy's office] What's going on?
Jeremy Grey:
[sighs] We got three big weeks ahead of us. It's wedding season, kid!
John Beckwith:
You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Jeremy Grey:
I've got us down for 17 of them already.
John Beckwith:
Okay, now how many of them have cash bars?
Jeremy Grey:
Great question. I like where your head's at and two of them actually are, but I got us covered: Purple hearts. We won't have to pay for a drink all night.
John Beckwith:
Oh, yeah. Perfect.
Jeremy Grey:
We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.
John Beckwith:
And who's gonna be there to catch them?
Jeremy Grey:
Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season? [Jeremy raises his hand]
John Beckwith:
Mr. Grey?
Jeremy Grey:
Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season? [shimmy-shakes]
John Beckwith:
Bingo! I'm gonna get my suit. Now who are we this time?

Tags: Age Quotes Christmas Quotes Heir Quotes Marriage Quotes Wedding Quotes

John Beckwith:
What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again.

Tags: Time Quotes

John Beckwith:
What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?

Tags:

Old Italian Woman:
Who's that?
Old Italian Man:
That's Luigi and Gina's son Christopher, the Banker.

Tags:

Best Man:
After my ninth stint in rehab, Craig - ah Craig, Craig was the only one who still believed in me. Been sober now for eight months.

Tags:

Chazz Reinhold:
So how's my protégé?
John Beckwith:
Jeremy, believe it or not, is getting married!
Chazz Reinhold:
What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me.

Tags:

Jeremy Grey:
Listen, I'm getting married.
John Beckwith:
Get out. [points at the door]
Jeremy Grey:
What? You just sat there and said you were happy for me, that I...
John Beckwith:
I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.
Jeremy Grey:
You said that the book wasn't yours.
John Beckwith:
Don't worry about the book. It isn't mine. But I glanced at it.
Jeremy Grey:
John, you've been my friend for 16 years. I'm getting married. I need you there to be my best man.
John Beckwith:
Kindly leave!
Jeremy Grey:
I'm try...
John Beckwith:
[cuts him off; whispers] Kindly leave.

Tags: Reading Quotes Sat Quotes Self Quotes Worry Quotes

[John has just referred to an aunt, only to be told by a guest that she is dead]
Jeremy Grey:
How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
John Beckwith:
Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.
Jeremy Grey:
Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!

Tags: Family Quotes Play Quotes Positive Quotes

Jeremy Grey:
[watching Gloria coming up the aisle] Hello, Red! Dibs.
John Beckwith:
[watching Claire coming up the aisle] She's all yours. I ain't gonna fight you.

Tags:

Wedding Crashers

Related Movies

Most Popular Movies

Wedding Crashers Vital Stats

Add a quote

Wedding Crashers Quotes

Quotes of the Day

RECENT MEMBERS

POPULAR MEMBERS

Interesting websites