Waiting for Guffman

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Date created: April 2010

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Waiting For Guffman Vital Stats

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Release date 1996

Duration 84 min

Producer(s) Karen Murphy, Ginger Sledge...more Karen Murphy, Ginger Sledge...less

Director(s) Christopher Guest...more Christopher Guest...less

Writer(s) Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy...more Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy...less

Cast Deborah Theaker, Michael Hitchcock, Scott Williamson...more

Genre Movies,

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Waiting For Guffman Quotes

Corky St. Clair:
[attempting to say "Hello, how are you" in a Cockney accent] Ello, ow are ooo?

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Steve Stark, Councilman:
God, I wish I was in this show.

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Dr. Pearl:
I dream of Genie with the light brown hair. Floating like a vapor on the soft summer air. LOOK OUT! Campdown races sing this song doo da doo da...

Tags: Song Quotes

Corky St. Clair:
Boy, I didn't know deers could... could do that, you know?

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Corky St. Clair:
[during "Red, White, and Blaine production, 'Bulging River' Scene] I love you too pa. You taught me how to be a man. How to wrastle a steer to the ground and apply a fiery brand to his hind-quarters. And yes, how to love a woman. How the smell of her hair can drive a man wild!

Tags: Love Quotes Man Quotes Love Quotes

Ron Albertson:
I had to have penis reduction surgery.
Dr. Allan Pearl:
Penis *reduction*?
Sheila:
I said to him, "Ron, you've gotta do something!" And he says to me, "Well, why don't you get one of those vagina enlargements?"

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Dr. Allan Pearl:
[singing] Nothing ever happens on Mars/No sports or entertainment/No swinging bars/You stand around/You stand some more/On a planet named for the Roman god of war.

Tags: God Quotes Man Quotes Sports Quotes

Clifford Wooley:
I had a... hankerin' to be an actor when I was a young feller when I got out of the Coast Guard, but I... I went to taxidermy school instead... well, I took a correspondence course.

Tags: Actor Quotes School Quotes

[the cast of "Red, White And Blaine" is in its first rehearsal]
Corky St. Clair:
I'd like you to close your eyes now, and I'd like you to try something, all right? Now what are you thinkin', what are you feeling right now, with your eyes closed? [Blows in Dr. Pearl's ear]
Dr. Allan Pearl:
I feel a bree... a... you're blowing in my ear.
Corky St. Clair:
Okay, all right, but you see you jumped... to a conclusion!
Dr. Pearl:
Oh!
Corky St. Clair:
See, what I'm asking for is... your first feeling... was not that I was blowing on you. It was more like... Virgin Isles, or... Bahamanian...
Dr. Pearl:
Oh...
Corky St. Clair:
Or... Arubian...

Tags: Eyes Quotes Right Quotes

UFO Abductee:
They took me off into a separate room; I seen 'em takin' different people off; different ones of us off in separate rooms and put me on a big white table and uh the guy that took me in there - to examine me I guess - he probed me and then I was in there I bet more than three or four hours, in that room, being probed and at one time or another these different ones of 'em came in, four or five or six of 'em at different times, and all of 'em probed me, uh, not all at once, you know, individually. Later on, years later, now, even still, uh, it's a funny thing - it happened on a Sunday and every Sunday about the time I was taken on board that ship I - find I have no feelings in my buttocks.

Tags: People Quotes Bed Quotes Day Quotes Feelings Quotes People Quotes

Libby Mae Brown:
I'll always have a place at the Dairy Queen.

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Libby Mae Brown:
My aunt brought out her atlas that I look at a lot. This big blue book and opened up to New York and it's an island, is really what it is. It's this island full of people of different colors and different ideas and I can't- It sounds like a lot of fun to me. You know, we don't see much of that in Blaine. I'd like to maybe meet some guys, some Italian guys, you know... watch TV and stuff.

Tags: People Quotes Colors Quotes Ideas Quotes Land Quotes People Quotes

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