The Stepford Wives

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Date created: April 2010

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The Stepford Wives Vital Stats

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Release date 1975

Duration 115 min

Producer(s) Gustave M. Berne, Roger M. Rothstein, Edgar J. Scherick...more

Director(s) Bryan Forbes...more Bryan Forbes...less

Writer(s) Ira Levin, William Goldman...more Ira Levin, William Goldman...less

Cast Katharine Ross, Paula Prentiss, Peter Masterson...more

Genre Fantasy, Mystery,

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The Stepford Wives Quotes

Refrigerator:
We need juice. We need juice. We need juice.

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Walter Kresby:
So that's why we have to leave Stepford? I'm not following.
Joanna Eberhart:
Ok. Before, Roger was witty and stylish and ironic.
Walter Kresby:
And I'm sure he still is.
Joanna Eberhart:
No. Now he's making speeches in a Brooks Brothers suit.
Walter Kresby:
Hey, there's lots of ways to be gay. Don't try to make him into a stereotype.
Joanna Eberhart:
Bobbie is right, and she's leaving too. This place does something to people. All of the women are always busy and perfect and smiling, and all of the men are always happy.
Walter Kresby:
And that's a problem because?
Joanna Eberhart:
Because it's not normal, Walter. It's... It's not our world. It's not us. And I'm picking up our kids from camp right now, and we're getting out of here. With or without you. [she goes to the front door but it is locked, she is extremely frusrated]
Walter Kresby:
You'll never change will you? Not really.
Joanna Eberhart:
[deadpan] Open the door.
Walter Kresby:
[he disables the security system, Joanna is leaving when... ] And you're right.
Joanna Eberhart:
[she turns to him] About what?
Walter Kresby:
If you're that unhappy, then we should move. Maybe head back to the city. We could leave tomorrow.
Joanna Eberhart:
[she sighs and hugs Walter] Thank you. Thank you.

Claire Wellington:
I was the world's foremost brain surgeon and genetic engineer. I had top-secret contracts with the Pentagon, Apple and Mattel. I was driven. Exhausted. Until late one night, I came home to find... [stunned]
Claire Wellington:
Mike... with Patricia. My brilliant... blond... 21-year-old research assistant. It was all so... [in a deep manly voice]
Claire Wellington:
... ugly. [Continues in a disconnectedly happy voice]
Claire Wellington:
Then early the next morning, as I gazed across the breakfast table at their lifeless bodies, I thought... "What have I done?" But more importantly... what could I do to make the world more beautiful?

Tags: Heir Quotes Home Quotes Research Quotes World Quotes

Dave Markowitz:
Hey, Kresby-man.
Walter Kresby:
Hey Dave.
Joanna Eberhard:
How do you know each other?
Dave Markowitz:
Men's Association.

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Bobbie Markowitz:
Add it up. All the women around here are perfect sex-kitten bimbos. All the men are drooling nerds. Doesn't that seem strange?
Joanna Eberhart:
Not to me.
Bobbie Markowitz:
Why not?
Joanna Eberhart:
I work in television.

Tags: Women Quotes Men Quotes Men Quotes Women Quotes Work Quotes

[the Stepford Wives have been "de-Stepfordized"]
Joanna Eberhard:
Mike, Mike, what happened? I was in the garden and I was dreaming about your... your smile and your aftershave and then I realized... [In a sinister voice]
Joanna Eberhard:
I could do *better*!

Tags: Smile Quotes Wives Quotes

Joanna Eberhard:
If you're in Manhattan, what do you do if you find out you're neighbour is sick?
Roger Bannister:
Call her...
Bobbi Markowitz:
-To see if she is going to die...
Roger Bannister:
-So we could rent the apartment.

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Bobbi Markowitz:
[Discussing how to include Jewish Bobbie in Stepford's Christmas] Or maybe I could just use hundreds of Pine Cones to spell out the words 'Big Jew' in letters 15 feet tall, on the snow in my front yard?
Claire Wellington:
...That's a wonderful idea!

Tags: Letters Quotes Snow Quotes Words Quotes

[first lines]
Helen Devlin:
Ladies and gentlemen, I would now like to introduce a legend in our industry. She's the most successful president in the history of our network and for the past five years has kept us at the very top of the ratings.

Tags: History Quotes Past Quotes Us Quotes Work Quotes

Joanna Eberhart:
Hey, aren't you Bobbi Markowitz? I love your books. What was the name of that book, the one about your mother?
Bobbi Markowitz:
"I Love You, But Please Die."

Tags: Love Quotes Love Quotes

Claire Wellington:
Well, aren't you a bug's ear.
Kimberly Kresby:
Bugs don't have ears.
Claire Wellington:
Why, aren't you sassy? And a little sad. [seeing Joanna in the car]
Claire Wellington:
And this must be Joanna. [whispering to Walter]
Claire Wellington:
Electroshock?
Walter Kresby:
Yes, but she's doing much better.
Claire Wellington:
Hello, little energizer.

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[after he's de-Stepfordized]
Roger Bannister:
What am I wearing?

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