The Muppet Christmas Carol

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Date created: April 2010

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The Muppet Christmas Carol Vital Stats

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Release date 1992

Duration 85 min

Producer(s) Martin G. Baker, David Barron, Brian Henson...more

Director(s) Brian Henson...more Brian Henson...less

Writer(s) Charles Dickens, Jerry Juhl...more Charles Dickens, Jerry Juhl...less

Cast Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Donald Austen...more

Genre Comedy, Family, Fantasy,

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The Muppet Christmas Carol Quotes

Rizzo the Rat:
How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!
Gonzo:
I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!
Rizzo the Rat:
Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants.
Gonzo:
To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps. [the lamps come on]
Rizzo the Rat:
How *does* he do that?

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Ghost of Christmas Past:
I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me.

Tags: Christmas Quotes

Kermit the Frog:
If you please sir, why open the office tomorrow? Other businesses will be closed; there'll be no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire!
Rats:
Yeah!
Ebenezer Scrooge:
It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only man who knows that... take the day.

Tags: Man Quotes Office Quotes Poor Quotes Will Quotes Business Quotes

Ebenezer Scrooge:
[in the graveyard] Must we return to this place? There is something else that I must know, is that not true? Spirit, I know what I must ask. I fear to, but I must. Who was the wretched man whose death brought so much glee and happiness to others? [the spirit points to a headstone, Scrooge begins moving toward it, then turns back, frightened]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
Answer me one more question. Are these the shadows of things that *will* be, or are they the shadows of things that *may* be only? [the spirit points again at the gravestone, Scrooge slowly approaches it]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
These events can be changed! A life can be made right. [he clears the snow from the stone and reads]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
[in tears] Ebenezer Scrooge! Oh please Spirit, no! Hear me, I, I am not the man I was! Why would you show me this if I am past all hope?... [sobbing]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
I, I *will* honor Christmas, and try to keep it all the year! I will live my life in the past, the present and the future. I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me! Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone! [kneeling, clutching at the spirit's robe]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
Oh Spirit, please speak to me!

Tags: Happiness Quotes Death Quotes Fear Quotes Happiness Quotes Man Quotes

Mrs. Dilber:
I've got his blankets.
Old Joe:
Ah, his blankets... Why, Mrs. Dilber, they're still warm! I don't pay extra for the warmth, you know.
Mrs. Dilber:
You should. It's the only warmth he ever had.

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Ebenezer Scrooge:
I don't think I've ever met anybody like you before.
Ghost of Christmas Present:
Really? Over 1800 of my brothers have come before me!
Ebenezer Scrooge:
1800? Imagine the grocery bills!

Tags: Christmas Quotes Body Quotes Brothers Quotes

Gonzo:
My name is Charles Dickens.
Rizzo the Rat:
And my name is Rizzo the Rat... wait a second! You're not Charles Dickens!
Gonzo:
I am too!
Rizzo the Rat:
No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?
Gonzo:
Absolutely!
Rizzo the Rat:
Charles Dickens was a 19th Century novelist! A genius!
Gonzo:
Oh, you are too kind!
Rizzo the Rat:
Why should I believe you?
Gonzo:
Well, because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!
Rizzo the Rat:
Prove it!
Gonzo:
All right! Um, there's a little mole on my thumb, and um, a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bike...
Rizzo the Rat:
No, no, no, don't tell us your *hand*, tell us the *story*!

Tags: Christmas Quotes Us Quotes

[Scrooge has thrown Mr Applegate out of the office]
Mr Applegate:
Thank you for not shouting at me!

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Gonzo:
Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.
Rizzo the Rat:
Yuck!
Gonzo:
[whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
Rizzo the Rat:
Why are you whispering?
Gonzo:
It's for dramatic emphasis.

Tags: Heir Quotes Will Quotes

Rizzo the Rat:
Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
Gonzo:
Nah, it's all right. This is culture!

Tags: Kids Quotes

[Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" are sitting on the window ledge outside Scrooge's bedroom]
Rizzo the Rat:
[looking around] Um, are you sure it's safe for us to be up here?
Gonzo:
Scrooge is saved. What can happen now?
Rizzo the Rat:
Yeah. [Scrooge opens the window, knocking Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" off the ledge]

Tags: Us Quotes

Gonzo:
It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.

Tags: Christmas Quotes Us Quotes

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