The Longest Yard

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Date created: April 2010

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The Longest Yard Vital Stats

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Release date 1974

Duration 121 min

Producer(s) Alan P. Horowitz, Albert S. Ruddy...more

Director(s) Robert Aldrich...more Robert Aldrich...less

Writer(s) Albert S. Ruddy, Tracy Keenan Wynn...more

Cast Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Ed Lauter...more

Genre Comedy, Crime, Drama,

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The Longest Yard Quotes

Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
Huddle up! Look, I'm sure you already know this, but I've never said it out loud. I *did* throw that game. I did it. I was in a bad way with some worse people. After I did it, I felt so shitty, I wish I would have just let them kill me instead. Now the warden wants to pin Caretaker's murder on me if I don't throw *this* game. So it looks like I'm going to get to know you guys a lot better because I aint doing that twice in a lifetime. We got a little time left. We can still do this. I'm begging you. Put your hands in here. Ok, thank you. Who are we? [Team shouts, "Mean Machine!", and takes the field]
Turley:
I'm glad you're back. Now I don't have to stab you.

Caretaker:
Look in your toilet, I left you a surprise.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
You took a shit in my toilet?
Caretaker:
No, that's what I left in Brucey's toilet.

Tags:

Deacon Moss:
This is baby-back bullshit!

Tags:

Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
[after being pulled over by cops] Here, you can finish this beer for me... I've got five more!

Tags: Beer Quotes

Big Ears Cop:
...shit happens.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
Shit does happen. I mean, look what happened to your ears.

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Big Tony:
[reading sign] Foot... ball... tree... outs. What the hell's a tree-out?
Brucie:
It's try-out, you half a meatball.

Tags: Reading Quotes

Chris Berman:
Whooooop!

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Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
[on TV after he crashes his girlfriend's car] Hey, Lena, I think we should start seeing other people!
Walt:
[watching on TV with Lena] I think I'm in love.

Tags: Art Quotes

Brucie:
[Brucie is about to kick off] Our Savior Jesus, help me do this right and I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black men.

Tags: Cheating Quotes Help Quotes Promise Quotes Right Quotes

Punky:
[after the convicts won the game] We win! Group hug in the shower tonight!... or not. Or not.

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Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
I will be your coach, your captain, your quarterback...
Brucie:
You haven't played in years! Why can't I be quarterback?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
You're right; let's see what you got. [throws ball to Brucie]
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
Hit me; I'm open!
Brucie:
[throws wild pass]
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe:
That's why, now sit down and shut up.

Tags: Will Quotes

Caretaker:
[Switowski has him in a bear hug] Down, Shrek, down!

Tags: Ski Quotes

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