The Hebrew Hammer

The Hebrew Hammer

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Date created: April 2010

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The Hebrew Hammer Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2003

Duration 85 min

Producer(s) Lisa Fragner, Josh Kesselman, Edward R. Pressman...more

Director(s) Jonathan Kesselman...more Jonathan Kesselman...less

Writer(s) Jonathan Kesselman...more Jonathan Kesselman...less

Cast Adam Goldberg, Judy Greer, Andy Dick...more

Genre Movies,

[add a quote]

The Hebrew Hammer Quotes

Damian Claus:
[trying to distract Mordechai] OH, LOOK! A bowl of Matzoh-ball soup!
Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
[looks away] Yum. [Damian runs]

Tags: Act Quotes Trying Quotes

Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
Hey, you don't wanna pick up this penny?
Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim:
Nooooooooo!

Tags:

Damian Claus:
[shouts] Watch it with the fucking cane!

Tags:

Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
Now, the key of undercover work... is to blend in, OK? You act as a gentile would.
Esther:
Right.
Samples Woman:
Could I interest you in a free-sample bacon cheeseburger?
Esther:
[Esther gasps]
Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
[affects a middle-America accent] Um, well, I thank you, gentile friend, for your generous offer of that... *deliciously* unkosher snack. I... sadly have to decline... for I already stuffed myself full of milk and meat products at a previous lunch engagement.
Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
[smiles a toothy grin]
Esther:
You're good.

Tags: America Quotes Act Quotes Self Quotes Interest Quotes Rest Quotes

Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
Let's dance the hora.
Damian Claus:
You're a hora!

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Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
[talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy and mass-produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light.
JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal:
So you want me to mass produce "Yentl," "Fiddler on the Roof," and Chaim Potok's "The Chosen"?
Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
Right.

Tags: Act Quotes Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Media Quotes Positive Quotes

Mrs. Carver:
So, what are your plans for after the wedding?
Mordechai Jefferson Carver:
Kill you.

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Voice on Intercom:
Attention, all K-Mart shoppers, there are Jews in Aisle 12.

Tags: Art Quotes

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Quotes of the Day

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Interesting websites

- The Hebrew Hammer Trailers, Reviews and Cast @ TVGuide.com

- The Hebrew Hammer Photos, Images, Videos, Polls, Questions, Cast and Crew