The Heartbreak Kid

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The Heartbreak Kid

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Date created: April 2010

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The Heartbreak Kid Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 1972

Duration 106 min

Producer(s) Michael Hausman, Erik Lee Preminger, Edgar J. Scherick...more

Director(s) Elaine May...more Elaine May...less

Writer(s) Bruce Jay Friedman, Neil Simon...more Bruce Jay Friedman, Neil Simon...less

Cast Charles Grodin, Cybill Shepherd, Jeannie Berlin...more

Genre Comedy,

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The Heartbreak Kid Quotes

Martin:
I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.

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Doc:
Now listen to me and listen to me good! When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it!

Tags: God Quotes

Doc:
So, what's new Eddie? Anything exciting?
Eddie Cantrow:
Ah, yeah, we just got those new Nike Sasquatch drivers in the store, so that's been kind of cool.
Doc:
Let me rephrase the question. You been crushin' any pussy?

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Martin:
Miranda, we are ready to play parcheesi!

Tags: Play Quotes

Lila:
Oh Grouchy Marx, calm down.

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10 Year Old Girl:
Are you like a widow or something?
Eddie Cantrow:
Yeah, I'm a widow. Yeah.
10 Year Old Girl:
Sorry.
12 Year Old Twin:
He's full of it. He's gay.
Eddie Cantrow:
No. I'm not gay.
12 Year Old Twin:
Let's play 5 in 5 then.
Eddie Cantrow:
What is that?
12 Year Old Twin:
It's where I ask you 5 questions in 5 seconds. If you're telling the truth, then you shouldn't have to think.
Eddie Cantrow:
[shrugs] Yeah, I don't wanna play your game, sorry.
12 Year Old Twin:
Quick - how'd your wife die?
Eddie Cantrow:
Murdered.
12 Year Old Twin:
How?
Eddie Cantrow:
Icepick.
12 Year Old Twin:
They get the guy?
Eddie Cantrow:
Yeah.
12 Year Old Twin:
What was his name?
Eddie Cantrow:
Ronald.
12 Year Old Twin:
Brad Pitt. Russell Crowe. Who's hotter?
Eddie Cantrow:
Brad Pitt.
12 Year Old Twin, 12 Year Old Twin:
[point and laugh victoriously]
Eddie Cantrow:
No no, no, I thought you meant who's hotter career-wise...

Tags: Play Quotes Thought Quotes

Eddie Cantrow:
Hey, Martin!
Martin:
Hello, asshole.
Eddie Cantrow:
Great to see you too!

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Eddie Cantrow:
You're in debt? What kind of debt?
Lila:
You know, the kind where you owe a lot of money to people.

Tags: Money Quotes Money Quotes

Eddie Cantrow:
I love sports. In fact, I even lost my virginity on a baseball diamond.
Buzz:
Oh, you're too much. Really?
Eddie Cantrow:
Yeah, yeah. A couple of the older kids pushed down and - [growls]
Eddie Cantrow:
[everyone stops laughing]
Eddie Cantrow:
It was not pretty. [pause]
Gayla:
Did you file charges?
Eddie Cantrow:
No, I...
Miranda:
He was making a joke, Gayla.
Deborah:
About anal rape...?

Tags: Love Quotes Baseball Quotes Kids Quotes Love Quotes Virginity Quotes

Eddie Cantrow:
Hey, uh, do you think you could tell me where I could find Uncle Tito?
Tito:
Yes. Uh, may I ask who's inquiring?
Eddie Cantrow:
Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow and I'm a friend of a friend of his. I'm supposed to give him something.
Tito:
I'm sorry to tell you this, but he no longer works here. He's actually in jail, serving six to ten years. He was caught having cock-fights. And I'm not speaking about the kind of rooster.
Eddie Cantrow:
Oh.
Tito:
Screw off! I'm joking, man! C'mon! I am Uncle Tito.

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Quotes of the Day

I never ever thought that I was a giggler. I was the one who could hold it together but I didn't on this... - Ashley Jensen

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Interesting websites

- The Heartbreak Kid Trailers, Reviews and Cast @ TVGuide.com

- The Heartbreak Kid Trailers, Reviews and Cast @ TVGuide.com

- The Heartbreak Kid Photos, Images, Videos, Polls, Questions, Cast and Crew

- The Heartbreak Kid Photos, Images, Videos, Polls, Questions, Cast and Crew