The Cable Guy

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Date created: April 2010

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The Cable Guy Vital Stats

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Release date 1996

Duration 96 min

Producer(s) Judd Apatow, William S. Beasley, Bernie Brillstein...more

Director(s) Ben Stiller...more Ben Stiller...less

Writer(s) Lou Holtz Jr....more Lou Holtz Jr....less

Cast Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick, Leslie Mann...more

Genre Comedy,

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The Cable Guy Quotes

Chip Douglas:
Don't you get it? Someone has to save all the other cable boys and girls, someone has to kill the babysitter.

Tags: Boys Quotes

Steven:
The cable guy is missing in action. [talking with Rick on the phone]
Steven:
Apparantly he is gonna be here between eight a.m. and my death.

Tags: Talking Quotes

Chip Douglas:
I just wanna hang out. NO BIG DEAL!

Tags:

[they are playing Porno Password - the password is "Vagina"]
Chip Douglas:
Penis. Penis. Penis...?
Robin Harris:
Vagina?
Chip Douglas:
YES! She said "vagina"! She said "vagina"!
Steven's father:
I would've said "schlong".
Chip Douglas:
Great. Now we're starting to get this.

Tags:

Chip Douglas:
[on answering machine] Hey man. It's me again. I was just taking a whizz. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.

Tags: Thought Quotes

Chip Douglas:
[after Steven has jumped on to the latter] Nice jump, Spider-Man!

Tags:

The Cable Guy:
Cable Guy!
Steven Kovacs:
[in the shower] Oh, shit!
The Cable Guy:
Caable Guuuy!
Steven Kovacs:
I'm coming! [grabs a towel, heads for the door]
The Cable Guy:
[yells] Caaable guuuy!
Steven Kovacs:
Don't leave! [Steven reaches the door, peeks outside]
The Cable Guy:
[leaving, sounding angry] Jesu Cristo!

Tags:

Helicopter paramedic:
Hang in there, pal! You're gonna make it, buddy.
Chip Douglas:
Hey! [helicopter paramedic learns forward]
Chip Douglas:
Am I really your buddy?
Helicopter paramedic:
Yeah, sure you are. [an evil grin spreads across Chip's face]

Tags: Evil Quotes

[Steven is in jail]
Chip Douglas:
Hello, Steven, I came as soon as I could.
Steven Kovacs:
What's your real name?
Chip Douglas:
It's Larry Tate, but that's not what's important right now. We have to get you out of here. I was watching Court TV and I found a loophole in your case. I'm gonna talk to the judge about a writ of Habeas Corpus. I'll put the SYSTEM on trial.
Steven Kovacs:
Why are you doing this to me?
Chip Douglas:
I didn't do this to you, you did this to you.

Tags: Right Quotes

Steven Kovacs:
I hate you! Get out of my life!
Chip Douglas:
He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go.
Robin Harris:
No, don't go. Steven, you are being an asshole!

Tags: Hate Quotes Anger Quotes

Steven Kovacs:
What are you doing?
Chip Douglas:
I'm just talking trash.
Steven Kovacs:
You ruined the game.
Chip Douglas:
I don't appreciate your tone, Steve. Friends aren't supposed to talk to each other that way...
Steven Kovacs:
What are you talking about? We're not friends. I don't even know you.
Chip Douglas:
Well let's change that. Let me buy you a Heineken.

Tags: Friends Quotes Change Quotes Talking Quotes Friends Quotes

Chip Douglas:
Cable guy! [pounds on the door]
Chip Douglas:
Cably Guy? Cable Guy! [Rings the buzzer]
Chip Douglas:
Cabla goobla!

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