The 40 Year Old Virgin

The 40 Year Old Virgin

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Date created: April 2010

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The 40 Year Old Virgin Vital Stats

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Release date 2005

Duration 116 min

Producer(s) Judd Apatow, Steve Carell, Andrew J. Cohen...more

Director(s) Judd Apatow...more

Writer(s) Judd Apatow, Steve Carell...more

Cast Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd...more

Genre Comedy,

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The 40 Year Old Virgin Quotes

 Cal:
You're gay, now?
David:
No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.
Cal:
I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now."
David:
You're gay for saying that.
Cal:
I'm gay for saying that?
David:
You know how I know you're gay?
Cal:
How? How do you know I'm gay?
David:
Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal:
You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David:
You know how I know you're gay?
Cal:
How? Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are?
David:
You know how I know you're gay?
Cal:
How?
David:
You like Coldplay.
 

Tags: Women Quotes   People Quotes   Men Quotes   Gay Quotes   Men Quotes     

 Smart Tech Customer:
This shit just got real!
Jay:
What are you gonna do, bitch?
Smart Tech Customer:
I'll tell you what. You know Luca Perry from 20th and 25th?
Jay:
You ever heard of rolling twenties, nigga? Since I was sixteen, nigga, I'm saying "frosty." You know what I'm saying? "Spoon", nigga. We fucked dwarves in the ass!
Smart Tech Customer:
Nigga, this dwarf here don't got to be tall to pull a trigger off in somebody face!
Andy Stitzer:
[walks up quickly] Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Welcome to Smart Tech. What can I help you with?
Smart Tech Customer:
[points at Jay] Is this your boy?
Jay:
Yeah, nigga, we will both mash you! What? What? Where you at?
Andy Stitzer:
Hey, how can we help you, sir?
Jay:
No, no, he don't need no help! He's already been served. I served him. He's taken care of. He's a little slow, but he got it. See, what he thought was he can come up here and make the rules. But now, he see that Jay make the rules at Smart Tech, that I run this bitch, and now he 'bout to bounce!
Smart Tech Customer:
This your boy?
Jay:
Yeah, nigga, that's my boy. We rep the same Smart Tech.
Smart Tech Customer:
[points at Andy] You just got fucked up with him. Both ya'll niggas gonna get clapped up when I get back. [pretends to shoot two guns at them]
Smart Tech Customer:
Both ya'll niggas!
Andy Stitzer:
What? What did I do?
Smart Tech Customer:
It don't fucking matter!
Jay:
Yeah, well, aim high, Willis. Aim high!
 

Tags: Help Quotes   Saying Quotes   Will Quotes   Art Quotes   Body Quotes     

 Cal:
Listen, when I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke.
Andy Stitzer:
I think I've got all the advice I can handle right now.
Cal:
Don't get bitter.
Andy Stitzer:
I'm not getting bitter. I almost lost a nipple, okay?
Cal:
That was Jay's idea, and I wasn't going to say anything, but waxing your chest is the gayest thing you could possibly do. Look at me: looks are not important. *Really* look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards, but, I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
Andy Stitzer:
I am not ugly as fuck.
Cal:
I didn't say you were ugly as fuck.
Andy Stitzer:
Well, you implied it.
Cal:
Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck, or you're ugly as shit. It's about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist.
Andy Stitzer:
What? You never told me that before.
Cal:
That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy.
 

Tags: Advice Quotes   Ugly Quotes   Vice Quotes   Right Quotes   Us Quotes     


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