Team America: World Police

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Date created: April 2010

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Team America: World Police Vital Stats

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Release date 2004

Duration 98 min

Producer(s) Frank C. Agnone II, Scott Aversano, Anne Garefino...more

Director(s) Trey Parker...more Trey Parker...less

Writer(s) Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Pam Brady...more

Cast Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller...more

Genre Animation, Action, Adventure,

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Team America: World Police Quotes

Gary Johnston:
We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Gary Johnston:
Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode:
Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

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Spottswoode:
Go get'em, cowboy.

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Spottswoode:
Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.

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Kim Jong Il:
I was sent from pranet Xiron to conquer the Earf / I had a twiffic pran - I thought it would work / I tried to get the Earfrings all to kill each other, y'see / But it all went wrong and now I must decree / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You have faiwred in every way / and now my stock in you has fawren / Your career is stawrin' / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / That's why I brew your head off / And your chirdren are all bawrin' / Pranet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods rike me / But arso with Balmacs who are giant bees / The Xipods and the Balmacs are at constant war / So we wanted a new home and that's what Earf was for / But you are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You fucked up my whole plan / and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac porren / Your garbage needs some hawring / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / Now I must return home a faiwrure / I'm afraid the pit of Cryrock is cawrin'.

Tags: Career Quotes Age Quotes Needs Quotes Home Quotes Thought Quotes

Gary Johnston:
I promise.
Gary Johnston:
I will never die.

Tags: Will Quotes

Kim Jong Il:
[to Lisa] When you see Arec Barrwin, you see the true ugriness of human nature.

Tags: Man Quotes

[Deleted Scene]
Spottswoode:
Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.

Tags: Racism Quotes Us Quotes

[Deleted Scene]
Gary Johnston:
I'm leaving. I'm out.
Spottswoode:
No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!
Gary Johnston:
Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!
Spottswoode:
Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary Johnston:
No, they didn't!
Spottswoode:
Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

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Carson:
The terrorist is getting away with the WMD.
Joe:
I got him [fires a rocket at the terrorist, it misses and hits the Eiffel Tower causing it to collapse into the 'Arc de Triomphe']
Joe:
Damn, I missed him!

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Chris:
Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?
Gary Johnston:
What's your problem with me?
Chris:
Yeah, you wanna go?
Joe:
Guys, guys, guys! Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do? The war is out there, man! Out there! Now, pull it together!

Tags: Time Quotes Trust Quotes Us Quotes

Kim Jong Il:
Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!
Lisa:
I'm sorry, it's what?
Kim Jong Il:
Inevit, inevitabre.
Lisa:
One more time.
Kim Jong Il:
[shouts] Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!

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