Step Brothers

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Date created: April 2010

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Step Brothers Vital Stats

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Release date 2008

Duration 98 min

Producer(s) Judd Apatow, Joshua Church, Jessica Elbaum...more

Director(s) Adam McKay...more Adam McKay...less

Writer(s) Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, Will Ferrell...more

Cast Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen...more

Genre Movies,

[add a quote]

Step Brothers Quotes

Male Therapist:
So, Dale. I don't know how much you know about therapy, but it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.
Dale Doback:
I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.
Male Therapist:
Is this Good Will Hunting?
Dale Doback:
No.
Male Therapist:
It sounds alot like the plot of good will hunting.
Dale Doback:
Yeah. Anyway. My best friend is Ben Affleck...

Dale Doback:
What is your problem, man?
Derek:
My problem? I don't know. I don't have a problem, uh, Dale. In fact, I have the opposite of a problem. I made over 550K last year. How much did you make?
Dale Doback:
It's not about money.
Derek:
It's not about money? Well, for me, it's a little about money, and I made *that* much money last year.

Tags: Money Quotes Ale Quotes Money Quotes

Dale Doback:
Hey Brenden
Brennan Huff:
Good to see ya Dale.
Dale Doback:
Thanks for hiring our catering company.
Brennan Huff:
Easy decision. You guys have an outstanding track record.
Dale Doback:
[looks around and sighs] This is like old times huh?
Brennan Huff:
Ah, it really is!
Brennan Huff:
You still have your night vision goggles?
Dale Doback:
No, no. No, I had to sell those to pay for car insurance... How about you? You still kickin' boards or breakin' holes in pumpkins or anything?
Brennan Huff:
No... but I did start taking baby aspirin. To reduce my risk for heart attack.
Dale Doback:
That makes sense. You gotta keep an eye on it.
Brennan Huff:
You really do.
Dale Doback:
Gotta knock off the sweets! [laughs]
Brennan Huff:
Thank you! [laughs as well]
Brennan Huff:
That's a tr- that's a truly funny observation!
Dale Doback:
[finishes laughing] Yeah.

Tags: Ale Quotes Heart Quotes Art Quotes Funny Quotes Night Quotes

Brennan Huff:
[Putting nutsack on Dale's drumset] John Bonham playing Moby Dick for real.

Tags:

Brennan Huff:
You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
Dale Doback:
Yeah, I got 'em from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine.

Tags: Ale Quotes Hate Quotes Pretty Quotes Time Quotes

Derek:
I have to sell or lease at last 80 helicopters to make my nut. And you... You mess with my nut, Brennan, Randy here is gonna eat your dick.
Randy:
Like Kobayashi.
Randy:
[makes eating noise]
Derek:
I've seen him do it.
Brennan Huff:
You've actually seen him eating a man's penis?
Derek:
It was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him. But I saw it.

Tags: Cute Quotes

Denise:
So, I thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.
Brennan Huff:
Okay.
Denise:
How old were you when they got divorced?
Brennan Huff:
Fifteen.
Denise:
That's a hard age.
Brennan Huff:
Yes. Yeah.
Denise:
Do you want to talk about some of those feelings?
Brennan Huff:
I love you.
Denise:
Obviously... you don't know me.
Brennan Huff:
I love you so much.
Denise:
Thank you, and I will take that as a feeling that you have of... comfortability with me.
Brennan Huff:
It's more than comfortability. I mean, I fuckin' love you.
Denise:
Okay, I... think...
Brennan Huff:
I'm just thinking about our life together. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. My penis is tingling right now.
Denise:
That is so... off-putting.
Brennan Huff:
You're not feeling this?
Denise:
In no way, shape, or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

Tags: Love Quotes Ability Quotes Feelings Quotes Talking Quotes Will Quotes

Derek:
I am the VP of the biggest executive helicopter leasing company on the western seaboard. I haven't had a carb since 2004. Check these out. [Points to ab muscles]
Derek:
See these? See these boys? This is what I live with, every day. I lather this up with Kiehls in the shower. You want to touch this shit?
Dale Doback:
No.
Derek:
You want to touch these bad boys? Sorry, not gonna happen.

Tags: Ale Quotes Company Quotes

Dale Doback:
Hey man. Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff:
[Brennan nods his head]
Brennan Huff:
Nope.
Dale Doback:
It's just weird, 'cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
Brennan Huff:
Yeah, that is weird, 'cause I didn't touch 'em.
Dale Doback:
[Dale throws Brennan's feet off the couch]
Brennan Huff:
Hey!
Dale Doback:
[angrily] Did you touch my drumset?
Brennan Huff:
Hey, knock it off!
Dale Doback:
I know you touched my drumstick, 'cause the left one has a chip in it.
Brennan Huff:
Are you fucking crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.
Dale Doback:
Fuck you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
Brennan Huff:
Get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass!
Dale Doback:
You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then!
Brennan Huff:
I don't have to swear to shit!
Dale Doback:
That's 'cause you fucking touched my drumset! 'Cause I know COPS doesn't start 'till 4:00!
Brennan Huff:
[Brennan begins to leave the room]
Dale Doback:
Where you going?
Brennan Huff:
I'm going upstairs... 'cause I'm gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay? [Brennan continues to walk upstairs towards his drumset]
Dale Doback:
If you do that - I'm warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!

Tags: Ale Quotes Will Quotes Art Quotes Life Quotes Right Quotes

Dale Doback:
[referring to him and Brennan geting beat up by kids, while crying] You know that one scene in The Wizard Of Oz... when the flying monkeys pull apart the scarecrow? That's what it was like.

Tags: Ale Quotes Art Quotes Flying Quotes

Nancy Huff:
[Brennan and Dale are sleeping, Nancy walks in to wake them up] Guys. Guys. Guys!
Brennan Huff:
[Both guys wake up and quote last line from their dreams] I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
Dale Doback:
The clown has no penis.
Nancy Huff:
What kind of dreams are you guys having? Hey, it's 12:30. Brennan, your brother's coming today, so you might want to get up.
Brennan Huff:
Today?
Nancy Huff:
Yep.
Brennan Huff:
Shit.
Dale Doback:
What's your problem?
Brennan Huff:
My little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

Tags: Ale Quotes Heir Quotes Dreams Quotes

Dale Doback:
Chewbacca masks!

Tags: Ale Quotes

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