Date created: April 2010
Release date 2001
Duration 113 min
Producer(s) Mark Charpentier, Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly...more
Director(s) Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly...more
Writer(s) Sean Moynihan, Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly...more
Cast Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, Jason Alexander...more
[Jill has just propositioned Hal]
You know, there are a few times in a guy's life - and I mean two or three, tops - when he comes to a crossroads, and he's gotta decide. If he goes one way, he can keep doing what he's been doing and be with any woman who'll have him. And if he goes the other way, he gets to be with only one woman, maybe - maybe for the rest of his life. Now it seems that by taking the other road, he's missing out on a lot. But the truth is, he gets much more in return. He gets to be happy. Are you wearing panties?
Hal, do me a favor and stop saying that I'm pretty and that I'm not fat, ok? Cause it makes me uncomfortable.
Umm, ok. Do you have a problem with compliments?
Look, I know what I am and I know what I'm not. I'm the girl who, you know, gets really good grades and who's not afraid to be funny. And I'm the girl who has a lot of friends who are boys and no boyfriends. I'm not beautiful, ok, and I never will be. And I'm fine with that. But when you go around saying I'm something that I'm not, it's just, it's just not nice.
Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women?
Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too.
Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?