My Cousin Vinny

My Cousin Vinny

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Date created: April 2010

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My Cousin Vinny Vital Stats

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Release date 1992

Duration 120 min

Producer(s) George A. Hirliman, Ben Pivar, Sennosuke Tsukimori...more

Director(s) ...more

Writer(s) ...more

Cast Joe Pesci, Ralph Macchio, Marisa Tomei...more

Genre Comedy,

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My Cousin Vinny Quotes

 Vinny Gambini:
I understand you played a game of pool with Lisa for $200, which she won. I'm here to collect.
J.T.:
How 'bout if I just kick your ass?
Vinny Gambini:
Oh, a counter-offer. That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. This is a tough decision here. Get my ass kicked or collect $200. Let me think... I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.
J.T.:
Over my dead body.
Vinny Gambini:
You like to renegotiate as you go along, don't you? Well here's my counter-offer... do I have to kill you? What if I were just to kick the ever loving shit out of you?
J.T.:
In your dreams.
Vinny Gambini:
Oh no no... in reality. If I was to kick the shit out of you, do I get the money?
J.T.:
You kick the shit, out of me.
Vinny Gambini:
Yeah.
J.T.:
Yeah. you get the money.
Vinny Gambini:
So, here are my options. Option A: I get my ass kicked or Option B: I kick your ass and collect the 200. I think I'm gonna go with Option B: Kickin' your ass and collecting $200. [Takes off his jacket]
J.T.:
We're gonna fight now?
Vinny Gambini:
Yeah. But first, show me the money.
J.T.:
I have it.
Vinny Gambini:
You have it, then show it to me.
J.T.:
[pause] I can get it.
Vinny Gambini:
You can get it? Okay, get it. Then we'll fight. [Takes his jacket from Lisa]
 

Tags: Decision Quotes     

 Mona Lisa Vito:
What name did you tell him?
Vinny Gambini:
Jerry Gallo.
Mona Lisa Vito:
Jerry Gallo! The big attorney.
Vinny Gambini:
Yeah.
Mona Lisa Vito:
Think that was a smart move?
Vinny Gambini:
Yeah, well, the man's a seriously accomplished lawyer. If he checks up on this guy, his name will come up all over the place.
Mona Lisa Vito:
His name was in the papers all last week.
Vinny Gambini:
Yeah, I saw that.
Mona Lisa Vito:
But you didn't actually read the articles.
Vinny Gambini:
No
Mona Lisa Vito:
Too bad.
Vinny Gambini:
Why's that?
Mona Lisa Vito:
'Cause he's dead.
 

Tags: Will Quotes   Art Quotes     

 Vinny Gambini:
Sheriff Farley, uh... what'd you find out?
Sheriff Dean Farley:
On a hunch, I took it upon myself to check out if there was any information on a '63 Pontiac Tempest stolen or abandoned recently. This computer readout confirms that two boys, who fit the defendants' description, were arrested two days ago by Sheriff Tillman in Jasper County, Georgia, for driving a stolen metallic mint green 1963 Pontiac Tempest, with a white convertible top, Michelin Model XGV tires, size 75-R-14.
Vinny Gambini:
Is that it?
Sheriff Dean Farley:
No. A .357 Magnum revolver was found in their possession.
Vinny Gambini:
Sheriff Farley, just to refresh the court's memory, what caliber bullet was used to murder Jimmy Willis?
Sheriff Dean Farley:
.357 Magnum.
Vinny Gambini:
The defense rests.
 

Tags: Defense Quotes   Heir Quotes   Man Quotes   Self Quotes   Driving Quotes     

 Mona Lisa Vito:
The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
Vinny Gambini:
And why not? What is positraction?
Mona Lisa Vito:
It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing. [the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]
Vinny Gambini:
Is that it?
Mona Lisa Vito:
No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Vinny Gambini:
And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
Mona Lisa Vito:
They were!
Vinny Gambini:
Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much. [kissing her hands]
Vinny Gambini:
You've been a lovely, lovely witness.
 

Tags: Power Quotes   America Quotes   Body Quotes   Kissing Quotes   Power Quotes     

 Vinny Gambini:
Look, maybe I could have handled the preliminary a little better, okay? I admit it. But what's most important is winning the case. I could do it. I really could. Let me tell you how, okay? The D.A.'s got to build a case. Building a case is like building a house. Each piece of evidence is just another building block. He wants to make a brick bunker of a building. He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks, like, like these, right? [puts his hand on the wall]
Bill:
Right.
Vinny Gambini:
Let me show you something. [he holds up a playing card, with the face toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini:
He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show them to you in a very special way, so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not gonna show you. [turns the card, so that its edge is toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini:
When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.
 

Tags: Fire Quotes   Magic Quotes   Man Quotes   Winning Quotes   Body Quotes     


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