Liar Liar

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Date created: April 2010

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Liar Liar Vital Stats

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Release date 1997

Duration 86 min

Producer(s) Michael Bostick, James D. Brubaker, Brian Grazer...more

Director(s) Tom Shadyac...more Tom Shadyac...less

Writer(s) Paul Guay, Stephen Mazur...more Paul Guay, Stephen Mazur...less

Cast Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper...more

Genre Comedy,

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Liar Liar Quotes

Fletcher:
Is this guy right for you? I mean, he's just so, not me!
Audrey:
Yes, that's one of his best qualities.
Fletcher:
Yeah, but he's kind of, magoo... I'm sorry.
Audrey:
You're wrong! I mean, sometimes, maybe yes, he is a litte bit...
Fletcher:
Magoo!
Audrey:
Yes.

Tags: Right Quotes

Dana:
You Wanna play hard ball? I'm game.
Fletcher:
[mockingly] Wanna play hard ball? I'm game.

Tags: Play Quotes

Fletcher:
[exclaims] AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE! My client LIED about her age, she was only seventeen when she got married which makes her a minor. And in the great state of California, no minor can enter into any legal contract without parental consent, including? [looks at Dana]
Dana:
Prenuptial agreements.
Fletcher:
Prenuptial agreements! This contract is VOID. The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant. Standard community property applies and she is entitled to half the marital assests, or $11.395 million dollars. Jordan fades back, shwoosh, and THAT'S THE GAME! Nothing further, your honor.
Dana:
[breaks pencil]
Judge Stevens:
[talks to crows] Quiet. In light of this new evidence, the court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole. She is hearby awarded half the marital assests. [pounds gavel]

Tags: Act Quotes Community Quotes Lies Quotes Truth Quotes Unity Quotes

Max Reede:
Look at what Dad got me!
Jerry:
Woah, great! Hey, you know what? I have my glove in the car. Why don't you and I go to the park and play catch. Then we can rub oil in it, and wrap a big rubber band around it! It'll be great! [to Fletcher]
Jerry:
Hey, great gift, Dad!
Fletcher:
[to Jerry] Thanks, son!

Tags: Love Quotes Oil Quotes Play Quotes Rap Quotes Love Quotes

Fletcher:
What is WRONG with me? [monotonous]
Fletcher:
I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm... [covers his own mouth]

Tags:

Fletcher:
You had sex with her everytime you met, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? LIAR!
Dana:
He's badgering the witness!
Judge:
It's his witness.
Fletcher:
You slammed her! You dunked her donut! You gave her dog a Snausage! YOU STUFFED HER LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY! [Makes gobbling noises while pushing himself against the table]
Kenneth Falk:
Alright! Alright, it's true, okay? I humped her brains out! There, now ya happy? [awkward silence]
Fletcher:
No further questions.

Tags: Giving Quotes Self Quotes Sex Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes Time Quotes

Fletcher:
Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"? Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message? [yells]
Fletcher:
Wake up, sisters! There is nooooooo such thing as a weaker sex!

Tags: Right Quotes

Fletcher:
Mr. Falk, would I be accurate, if I described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional? I *object*, Your Honor, and I move to strike!
Judge Stevens:
Mr. Reede, I don't know what you're on, but you better get to the point, and quick!

Tags: Relationship Quotes Bed Quotes

Busty Woman on Elevator:
Everybody's been real nice.
Fletcher:
Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em. Mama! [puckers up]

Tags: Man Quotes Woman Quotes

Judge Stevens:
It is only out of sheer morbid curiosity that I am allowing this freak show to continue.

Tags: Curiosity Quotes

[the court erupts]
Judge Stevens:
Order! Order! ORDER!
Fletcher:
[to crowd] Knock it off!
Judge Stevens:
SIT DOWN!

Tags:

Fletcher:
Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?
Judge:
Can't it wait?
Fletcher:
Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!
Judge:
Is that true?
Fletcher:
It has to be!
Judge:
In that case I'd better take a quick break myself.

Tags: Age Quotes

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