L.A. Story

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Date created: April 2010

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L.A. Story Vital Stats

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Release date 1991

Duration 95 min

Producer(s) Mario Kassar, Steve Martin, Daniel Melnick...more

Director(s) Mick Jackson...more Mick Jackson...less

Writer(s) Steve Martin...more Steve Martin...less

Cast Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Richard E. Grant...more

Genre Comedy, Drama, Fantasy,

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L.A. Story Quotes

Harris:
[calling the restaurant] Hello, L'Idiot? Yes, I'd like to make reservations for two for Friday. Saturday? Sunday? Ah good. Eight-thirty. Five-thirty or ten-thirty? Um, five-thirty. Visa... I'm a weatherman... yes, I'm on TV! Renting... I just sold a condo... yes, in this "soft market"... well, I don't see how that's any of your... the low fifties.

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Gail, News Anchor:
And what a surprise this weekend when the weather turned unseasonably low. Here's Harris Telemacher, our "wacky weatherman" with a report.
Harris:
And when the weather dropped down to 58 degrees this weekend, how did you cope?
Man:
I went to make sure all the windows were shut.
Harris:
And, what about your pets? Were they outside? What happened?
Man:
Well, the cats were out till around ten. But it got a little too cold for them and they came in.
Harris:
The cats were out till around ten. But it got a little too cold for them and they came in! Well, that's how L.A. coped with that surprise low of 58 degrees that turned the weekend into a real weenie shrinker!

Harris:
[after seeing tiny dinner at L'Idiot's] I'm already finished and I don't remember eating.

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Roland:
That's the difference between England and America. The English maintain civil relationships with their ex's. Americans sue them.

Tags: England Quotes Heir Quotes Land Quotes Relationships Quotes Ships Quotes

Trudi:
Isn't that girl Sara awful? I mean, what's with that accent?
Harris:
She has an accent because she's English.
Trudi:
Or maybe she's just trying to impress everybody.
Harris:
Oh, like that big phony, Winston Churchill.

Tags: Press Quotes Trying Quotes

Harris:
I call it performance art, but my friend Ariel calls it wasting time. History will decide.

Tags: History Quotes Performance Quotes Will Quotes

Harris:
You know, you're really nobody in L.A. unless you live in a house with a really big door.

Tags: Body Quotes

SanDeE*:
I'm studying to be a spokesmodel.
Harris:
What is, what is a spokesmodel?
SanDeE*:
Um, it's just a model who speaks, you know, and she points at things like merchandise, you know, like a car or washer and dryer. Sometimes it's something really small, you know, like, like a book or fine art print.
Harris:
They have classes for that?
SanDeE*:
Yeah, 'cause it's a lot harder than it looks.

Tags: Art Quotes

Harris:
When I really analyze it, Trudi wasn't for me anyway. The only good times we had were having sex and laying in bed watching TV.
Ariel:
I hate to tell you this, Harris, but if you can find somebody you can have sex with and lie in bed and watch TV, you've really got something.

Tags: Bed Quotes Hate Quotes Sex Quotes Body Quotes

Harris:
I don't think we should make love, all right?
SanDeE*:
Okay, we'll just have sex.

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[as they walk to the restaurant, a loud clanging sound is heard]
Harris:
What's that clanging sound?
Roland:
It's a nuisance. It's my damn testicles.

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Harris:
Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. He said, "Hey... life is pretty stupid; with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much." Of course I'm paraphrasing: "Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Tags: Ale Quotes Life Quotes Pretty Quotes Thought Quotes

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