Kissing Jessica Stein

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Date created: April 2010

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Kissing Jessica Stein Vital Stats

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Release date 2001

Duration 97 min

Producer(s) Eduardo Braniff, Steven Firestone, Matt Janes...more

Director(s) Charles Herman-Wurmfeld...more Charles Herman-Wurmfeld...less

Writer(s) Heather Juergensen, Jennifer Westfeldt...more

Cast Jennifer Westfeldt, Tovah Feldshuh, Esther Wurmfeld...more

Genre Comedy, Drama,

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Kissing Jessica Stein Quotes

Jessica:
You don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet. You don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block. I love that. You don't drink coffee or alcohol. You don't over eat. You don't cry when you're alone. You don't understand sarcasm. You plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine free, dairy free, conflict free way. I'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and I notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural temperment of their voice on the phone. I don't give out empty praise. I'm not complacent or well-adjusted. I can't spend fifteen minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. I can't spend three minutes finishing an article. I check my answering machine nine times every day and I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people and certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world.

Josh:
You know Stein, why don't you cut yourself a break. It's obviously not the time to be meeting someone anyway.
Jessica:
[sarcastically] Really? What? Not the season?
Josh:
No. It's just because you're clearly not open to it.
Jessica:
[laughs] Excuse me? I'm sorry. How would you know?
Josh:
Well, I do have a little history to draw from. But even if I didn't, you've known Charles here for about an hour and in that time you've dismissed a panoply of men based on factors as reductive as a linguistic misstep, a different view from yours on going dutch, a kind reaction to your legendary lateness, and a genuine interest in yoga. You know, I think it was Anais Nin who said, "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." [chuckles]
Josh:
Generally I'm not much of a Nin fan, but I do feel that bit sums you up to a "T", Stein. So I don't think the problem's with these poor men, these freaks and morons, as you put it. I think the problem is with you.

Tags: Men Quotes Action Quotes History Quotes Men Quotes Poor Quotes

[after their fifth make-out session]
Jessica:
So, I figure if we keep going it like this, we'll get there in like two weeks or so.
Helen:
Yeah, sure. There's no real rush.
Jessica:
Are you sure?
Helen:
Yeah, sure.
Jessica:
But you'd really...
Helen:
Not at all.
Jessica:
How about ten days?
Helen:
Ten days is better.

Tags: Heir Quotes

Josh:
[after confessing his feelings to Jessica, he kisses her] So I guess I'd like to know if you have some sort of reaction to this. More specifically, do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow night? [she doesn't respond at first, and Josh adopts a look of defeat and embarrassment]
Josh:
Well, if you'll excuse me, I definitely need another drink.
Jessica:
[she stops him] No, wait. I'd love to have dinner with you, but I can't.
Josh:
What? Not the season?
Jessica:
[laughs nervously] No. I mean I cant have dinner with you because I'm with Helen.
Josh:
Oh, you're having dinner with Helen?
Jessica:
No. I mean I'm *with* Helen.
Josh:
[he looks at her in disbelief] Like *with* with Helen?
Jessica:
Right *with* with.
Helen:
[Helen enters from the stairwell] Jessica, they're starting to serve dinner. [Jessica exits]
Helen:
Hey, Josh.
Josh:
[still can't believe what he's just heard] Helen... [beat]
Josh:
how are you?
Helen:
[smiles] I'm good thanks. [she exits]

Tags: Love Quotes Action Quotes Defeat Quotes Feelings Quotes Love Quotes

Jessica:
Would you shut up, I'm atoning!

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Helen:
Stop saying you told me, you're a terrible liar, it's one of your best qualities.

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Helen:
Don't decide right now, just let it marinate for a while.

Tags: Right Quotes

Martin:
C'mon. C'mon. This is not something you can try on and see if it fits, okay? I can't put black shoe polish on my face and join a gospel choir, 'cause, I don't know, I don't feel so white no more.

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Helen:
Who do you have to blow to get some fucking pussy around here!

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Jessica:
[to Helen] Oh, no offense... no offense. I mean look at you. Who wouldn't want to have sex with you. I mean 'do' you.

Tags: Sex Quotes

Jessica:
I was surprised to learn that lesbians accessorized, I didn't know that.

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Jessica:
Oh, I'm a terrible insomniac.
Helen:
I'm so sorry. Since when?
Jessica:
Um, I don't know, since birth.

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