Juno

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Date created: April 2010

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Juno Vital Stats

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Release date 2007

Duration 96 min

Producer(s) Joseph Drake, Daniel Dubiecki, Lianne Halfon...more

Director(s) Jason Reitman...more Jason Reitman...less

Writer(s) Diablo Cody...more Diablo Cody...less

Cast Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner...more

Genre Comedy,

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Juno Quotes

Juno MacGuff:
Juno MacGuff: Yea, you just take Soupy-Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.
Paulie Bleeker:
Paulie Bleeker: You're being really immature... You have no reason to be mad at me, I mean, you know, you broke MY heart. I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off, I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.
Juno MacGuff:
Juno MacGuff: What? Cause I got bored and had sex with you and I didn't want to like marry you?
Paulie Bleeker:
Paulie Bleeker: Like I'd marry you! You'd be the meanest wife ever, okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and then 'The Blair Witch Project' was coming on Starz and you were like 'I haven't seen this since it came out and if so we should watch it' and then 'but oh, no, we should just make out instead la la la'
Juno MacGuff:
Juno MacGuff: You just take Katrina the douchepacker to prom. I'm sure you two will have like a real bitchin' time.
Paulie Bleeker:
Paulie Bleeker: Well, I still have your under wear!
Juno MacGuff:
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity

Juno MacGuff:
I am giving you the gift of life, screaming, pooping life, and you don't even have to be there when it comes out all covered in blood and guts

Tags: Giving Quotes

Leah:
So, are you going to go to Haven Brook or Women Now? 'Cause you know, you need a note from your parents for Haven Brook.
Juno MacGuff:
Yeah, I-I know. Ummm... no, I'm going to go to Women Now, just cause they help out "women now."

Tags: Women Quotes Men Quotes Help Quotes Men Quotes Parents Quotes

Juno MacGuff:
[on the phone with "Women Now"] Hey, yeah, uh, I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion. What? - Can you just hold on for a second, I'm on my hamburger phone.

Tags: Women Quotes Men Quotes Men Quotes Cure Quotes Women Quotes

Leah:
Yum, this pretzel tastes like a freaking DONUT!

Tags:

Juno MacGuff:
Uhhh, I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?

Tags: Day Quotes Hate Quotes

Juno MacGuff:
Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one, that was in the Goonies.

Tags:

Leah:
But you know, boys have endured worse things for nookie.

Tags: Boys Quotes

Juno MacGuff:
This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I've ever seen.

Tags: Living Quotes

Leah:
[reading] "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." Aw... all that's missing is your bastard!
Juno MacGuff:
I want a parakeet.

Tags: Love Quotes Love Quotes

Mark Loring:
[in reference to Juno's stretched out shirt due to pregnancy] Wow! That shirt's workin' hard.

Tags:

Juno MacGuff:
I'm pregnant.
Paulie Bleeker:
What should we do?
Juno MacGuff:
Well, I should just... I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy... It can often lead to an infant.
Paulie Bleeker:
Typically, yeah... Yeah that's what happens when our mothers and teachers get pregnant.

Tags: Health Quotes Class Quotes Health Quotes Talking Quotes Teachers Quotes

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