I Could Never Be Your Woman

I Could Never Be Your Woman Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2007

Duration 97 min

Producer(s) Karinne Behr, Alastair Burlingham, Twink Caplan...more

Director(s) Amy Heckerling...more

Writer(s) Amy Heckerling...more

Cast Michelle Pfeiffer, Paul Rudd, Saoirse Ronan...more

Genre Comedy, Drama,

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I Could Never Be Your Woman Quotes

 Izzie:
[sung to the tune of "Isn't it Ironic" by Alanis Morissette] "It's so hot. Must be 98. For December, that's not so great. While the North Pole is turning to slush, on my TV, there's President Bush. And isn't he moronic? Don't you think? Incredibly moronic. And yes I really do think."
Izzie and her back up singers:
[sung to the tune of "Isn't it Ironic" by Alanis Morisette] "He's a pa-a-in, in the whole world's ass. He'd stab his mom, for a gallon of gas. How can it be, we voted him in? I just don't see how, it figures."
Izzie:
[sung to the tune of "Isn't it Ironic" by Alanis Morissette] "A pop star, who went on TV. Tells the whole world, 'Kids sleep here with me'. A mother says to her son, 'Neverland Ranch will be lots of fun'. And isn't she moronic? Don't you think? Incredibly moronic. And yes I really do think."
Izzie and her back up singers:
[sung to the tune of "Isn't it Ironic" by Alanis Morissette] "It's so la-a-ame, what goes on in her head. Do you think it's smart to loan him your kid? He won't like them when they're bigger."
 

 Older TV exec:
Courtney Love?
Producer:
Drugged-out hag.
Older TV exec:
Faye Dunaway?
Producer:
Don't call us, we'll call you!
Older TV exec:
Sharon Stone?
Producer:
Hag.
Older TV exec:
Geena Davis?
Producer:
Hag.
Older TV exec:
Sigourney Weaver?
Producer:
Hag.
Older TV exec:
Kim Basinger?
Producer:
Hag.
Older TV exec:
Emma Thompson?
Producer:
Brit hag.
Older TV exec:
Susan Sarandon?
Producer:
Red-state-alienating hag!
Older TV exec:
Meg Ryan?
Producer:
Too much plastic surgery.
Older TV exec:
Melanie Griffith?
Producer:
WAY too much plastic surgery.
Older TV exec:
Patricia Heaton?
Producer:
*Pointless* plastic surgery.
Older TV exec:
CHER.
Producer:
*Insurmountable* amount of plastic surgery!
Rosie:
[who's been overhearing all this from the next chair & getting increasingly annoyed, swings round & grabs the Producer by the chin] Listen, you little bird of a man, where do you come off insulting these women? How many hit songs did you sing? How many Oscars do *you* have? Could you look cute next to Warren Beatty? Or live with Don Johnson? Or act with Ted Danson? You're not worthy of kissing Cher's tattooed ass!
 


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