Hatchet

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Date created: April 2010

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Hatchet Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2006

Duration 84 min

Producer(s) Scott Altomare, Sarah J. Donohue, Sarah Elbert...more

Director(s) Adam Green...more Adam Green...less

Writer(s) Adam Green...more Adam Green...less

Cast Joel Moore, Tamara Feldman, Deon Richmond...more

Genre Comedy,

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Hatchet Quotes

Misty:
Are you sure the number is 911?
Jenna:
What else would it be, dumbass?
Misty:
Well how should I know if it's the cell, maybe you have to type in a different area code.

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Shawn:
But you only shot him once, right? Maybe you gotta shoot him more times. Like four- or six- maybe you gotta shoot him six times?

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Jenna:
Seriously Doug, I can't work with that. I'm a professional actress. I went to NYU.
Misty:
[laughs]
Jenna:
What's so funny?
Misty:
Like anybody's ever even heard of that.
Jenna:
New York University?
Misty:
Never heard of it.

Jenna:
But we can't just leave him out here!
Marybeth:
Then why don't you just run off and go find him.
Jenna:
...That was mean.

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Ben:
Come on, this is gonna be fun.
Marcus:
About as fun as crabs.
Ben:
You would know.
Marcus:
Screw that waitress from Fezzywigs, man.
Ben:
You did.
Marcus:
I didn't know she had bugs in her bush!
Ben:
She was scratching herself all night! What do you mean you didn't know? You can't hook up with itchy chicks, Marcus. Everyone knows that.
Marcus:
She said it was a reaction to her fabric softener. I saw it, I asked.
Ben:
Fabric softener!
Marcus:
Look at you Mister Bigshot. Everyone knows that. When's the last time you got laid?
Ben:
...I have sex all the time...
Marcus:
-shut up.

Tags: Action Quotes Self Quotes Sex Quotes Fun Quotes Time Quotes

Shawn:
The tour is leaving right now, it's forty bones each.
Ben:
Forty dollars?
Marcus:
Can you spot me?
Ben:
What, you don't have any cash?
Marcus:
No, I'm just not paying for this bullshit.

Tags: Right Quotes

Shawn:
[on a tour bus, over the PA system] Okay folks, I am your tour guide Shawn. Just sit back and get ready to enjoy some...
Marcus:
[interrupting him] Ah, buddy, you don't need that thing. This is, like, the size of a Mini Cooper.
Shawn:
[grumbles to himself in Chinese]

Tags: Self Quotes Joy Quotes

Shawn:
Now here on the Mississippi bayou, hundreds of fishermen and old pirates have lost their lives... and if we're lucky, we might just see their souls floatin' over the waters where they up and died.

Tags: Men Quotes Heir Quotes Men Quotes

Jenna:
I was moving to Hollywood next month to be famous, now I'm going to die out here with all of you assholes!

Tags: Hollywood Quotes Wood Quotes

Marcus:
Are you afraid I'm going to kick your ass again you little bitch?

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Shapiro:
They probably got stuck just like we did and had to walk the whole way home. Right now they're probably sitting in a Denny's or something.
Marcus:
Moons Over My Hammy, yo.

Tags: Right Quotes

Sampson:
Goddamn queer's gotta squat to take a leak.

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