Grumpy Old Men

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Date created: April 2010

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Grumpy Old Men Vital Stats

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Release date 1993

Duration 103 min

Producer(s) Richard C. Berman, Darlene K. Chan, John Davis...more

Director(s) Donald Petrie...more Donald Petrie...less

Writer(s) Mark Steven Johnson...more Mark Steven Johnson...less

Cast Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret...more

Genre Comedy,

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Grumpy Old Men Quotes

Max Goldman:
Gotta use *hot* water, dickhead!

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Grandpa Gustafson:
[speaking of Ariel] Did you mount her?
John Gustafson:
[disgusted] Oh, *Dad*!
Grandpa Gustafson:
Wait, wait. Has she got big thighs?
John Gustafson:
[thinking] No.
Grandpa Gustafson:
No!? Then what's the problem?

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Grandpa Gustafson:
Drop that fish!

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Max Goldman:
Who's the guy yakkin' at your door?
John Gustafson:
Just mind your own business, will ya?
Max Goldman:
Mind your own business, will ya? Mind your own business. Why don't you tie your shoelace, you'll fall on your stupid head.

John Gustafson:
Moron!
Max Goldman:
Putz!

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Max Goldman:
You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson?
Snyder:
Have you seen him?
Max Goldman:
The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.
Snyder:
Medication?
Max Goldman:
Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.

Tags: Men Quotes Clothes Quotes Heir Quotes Men Quotes Talking Quotes

Max Goldman:
Did you win the Lottery Dickhead?
John Gustafson:
Enjoy your shower Smart Ass?

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Max Goldman:
Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede.

Tags: Dumb Quotes

Ariel Truax:
Gay or straight?
John Gustafson:
Huh?
Ariel Truax:
Heterosexual or homosexual?
John Gustafson:
Geez Louise!
Ariel Truax:
Well, it's a perfectly legitimate question.
John Gustafson:
Well, maybe in California, but here in Minnesota... Who-ho-ho-ho!

Tags: Gay Quotes

Max Goldman:
If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.

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Max Goldman:
When I had an ulcer, I was farting razor blades.

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Grandpa Gustafson:
Kids; Can't live with them, can't shoot them.

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