Garden State

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Date created: April 2010

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Garden State Vital Stats

[edit]

Release date 2004

Duration 102 min

Producer(s) Pamela Abdy, Bill Brown, Danny DeVito...more

Director(s) Zach Braff...more Zach Braff...less

Writer(s) Zach Braff...more Zach Braff...less

Cast Zach Braff, Kenneth Graymez, George C. Wolfe...more

Genre Comedy, Drama,

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Garden State Quotes

Sam:
I think we got one. Wait, I'm going to go get a cup.

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Sam:
So uh, I gotta go bury this hamster before the dogs eat him... You wanna help?

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Sam:
Here comes the lipstick.

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Sam:
How's your head?
Andrew Largeman:
I shall live through the day.
Sam:
Cool.

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Andrew Largeman:
This isn't a conversation about this being over. I'm not like, putting a period at the end of this. I'm putting like... an ellipsis on it.

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Tim:
[Klingon phrase] qIrq HoH.
Carol:
It means I like to mate after battle.
Tim:
That's not what I said.
Carol:
Yeah...
Tim:
No, no. That wasn't the one I said. This one means Kill Kirk... And also, hallelujah... Depending on the context.

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Carol:
Mark, he's a knight.
Mark:
He's just a fast food knight.

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[Largeman flounders in the pool]
Jesse:
Dude, maybe you should stay over by the steps. I don't know CPR.
Mark:
You look like a wet beaver.

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Andrew Largeman:
Safe... when I'm with you I feel so safe... like I'm home.

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Andrew Largeman:
Place looks good.
Gideon Largeman:
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we've been doing a lot of work on it.
Andrew Largeman:
Really?
Gideon Largeman:
Actually, no. I don't know why I just said that.

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Andrew Largeman:
You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.

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Sam:
I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Andrew Largeman:
Is that true?
Sam:
No.

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Andrew Largeman:
You remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
Sam:
The ellipsis?
Andrew Largeman:
Yes, the ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you, Samantha. I think that's the only thing I've ever been really sure of in my entire life.

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Dr. Cohen:
Of course you're all right. You're alive.

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Sam:
This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.

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Sam:
That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have.

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Sam:
If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like.
Andrew Largeman:
All right, so what are we laughing at you about?
Sam:
I lied again... I have epilepsy.
Andrew Largeman:
Which part are we laughing about?
Sam:
had a seizure at the law office where I work, and they told me their insurance wouldn't cover me unless I wore preventative covering.
Andrew Largeman:
What's preventative covering?
Sam:
The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.

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Gideon Largeman:
Saying goodbye is important. I'm glad you could fit it in.

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Sam:
You don't realize, this is good, this doesn't happen often in your life. We can work this stuff out. I want to help you, you know? We need each other...
Andrew Largeman:
This isn't a conversation about this being over, it's, it's... I'm not, like, putting a period at the end of this, you know, I'm putting, like, an ellipsis on it, cause I'm- I'm- I'm worried that if I don't figure myself out, if I don't go like land on my own two feet, then I'm just gonna to mess this whole thing up, and this is too important. I gotta go... you changed my life in four days. This is the beginning of something really big. But right now, I gotta go.

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[Last lines]
Sam:
What are you doing?
Andrew Largeman:
Remember that idea I had, about working stuff out on my own, and then finding you once I worked stuff out?
Sam:
The ellipsis?
Andrew Largeman:
Yeah, the ellipsis, it's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... I think that's the only thing I've ever really been sure of in my entire life. And I'm really messed up right now, and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it. And I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right?
Sam:
Yeah. Yes!
Andrew Largeman:
So what do we do? What do we do?

Tags: Love Quotes Life Quotes Love Quotes Right Quotes Work Quotes

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Mark:
Hey, if you ever need a Kato, you know where to find me.

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Andrew Largeman:
They sent me away to boarding school. Sent me away makes it sound like they sent me to an asylum. There were no straps involved.

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Karl Benson:
I should get your number.

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Sam:
Wow. That's pretty damn random of you there, Andrew. Nice to meet you, can I use you?
Andrew Largeman:
No.
Sam:
It must be the Hollywood in you.

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« »

Andrew Largeman:
There's a handful of normal kid things I kinda missed.
Sam:
There's a handful of normal kid things I kinda wish I'd missed.

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Andrew Largeman:
You're a COP, Kenny?
Kenny:
Yeah, I know!
Andrew Largeman:
...Why?
Kenny:
I don't know, man. Had nothing better to do.

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Kenny:
Plus, the benefits are great, you know? If I get shot on the job, I'm like... *MMM*... rich!

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Kenny:
Your mom just died!

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Sam:
It's not that we're bad pet owners or anything, it's just, you know, we've had so many of them over the years. Besides, a lot of these are fish.

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Sam:
We're not gonna make out or anything, okay?
Andrew Largeman:
What?
Sam:
Oh, I'm sorry. I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I?

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Sam:
I have three Dobermans, and if I didn't kick them in the balls on a regular basis, I'd never get anything done.

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Andrew Largeman:
I think we've corrupted this innocent girl enough for one day!
Sam:
I'm not innocent.
Andrew Largeman:
Yes, you are! That's what I like about you, okay? And I don't want this guy taking you to some sketchy quarry in the middle of Newark to find crack whores huffing turpentine or pit bulls raping each other or whatever else is down here!
Mark:
Man... that's the most worked up I've ever seen you.
Sam:
He's protecting me.
Andrew Largeman:
So?
Sam:
He *likes* me!
Andrew Largeman:
Don't be cute.
Sam:
He's my knight in shining armor.
Andrew Largeman:
Don't talk about knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.
Mark:
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker!
Andrew Largeman:
Pun intended?

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Olivia:
Sam, I thought I told you to take the metal wheel out of the hamster cage.
Sam:
Oh! I forgot!
Olivia:
[holding up a stiff brown lump] Well, you forgot, and now Jelly's dead.

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Diego:
Does it come with balloons?
Mark:
What am I, a birthday clown? NO! It doesn't come with balloons. Suck it off the tap!

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Mark:
The only thing worse than a favor is a favor involving money.

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Mark:
So this is it...
Andrew Largeman:
So knock... knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards.
Mark:
Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.

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Sam:
So what are you here for?
Andrew Largeman:
What are you here for?
Sam:
Waiting for a friend, you?
Andrew Largeman:
I uh...
Sam:
Oh fuck, that was so nosy. I'm sorry, ack. I am. I am so nosy. I didn't I didn't mean to be. I am sorry.
Andrew Largeman:
No, I just get these headaches. I wanna have em checked out.
Sam:
Cool

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Dr. Cohen:
You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. Uh, I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half. For example.
Andrew Largeman:
Wow. Um, but I don't really think that's it...

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Aunt Sylvia Largeman:
I made you something. It's a shirt.
Andrew Largeman:
Thats... That's good, thank you.
Aunt Sylvia Largeman:
Will you try it on now?
Andrew Largeman:
Now?
Aunt Sylvia Largeman:
Well, in case I have to fix it before you leave again and we don't see you for another nine years. I wanna make sure it fits.

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Tim:
[to Mark's mom, Carol] I had a lovely evening. [to Andrew]
Tim:
By the way, it says BALLS on your face.

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Sam:
You're in it right now, aren't you?
Andrew Largeman:
What?
Sam:
My mom always says that, when she can see I'm like working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you're telling this story, and you're definitely in it.

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Andrew Largeman:
You're the alligator?

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Mark:
We'll probably head over there right after we bury your mom.

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Andrew Largeman:
We're not playing Spin the Bottle; how old are we? More importantly, how old are they?
Jesse:
Oh, they're all legal. I think...

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Sam:
What's the word that's burning in your heart?

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Andrew Largeman:
Fuck, this hurts so much.
Sam:
I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It’s real, and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it's sort of all we have.

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Obnoxious Girl:
I'll have a Ketel Cosmo, with Red Bull - and some bread ASAP.
Andrew Largeman:
...We don't have bread.
Obnoxious Girl:
What do you mean you don't have bread, how can you not have bread?
Andrew Largeman:
...we're a Vietnamese restaurant... we just don't have bread.
Obnoxious Girl:
Well, you're not Vietnamese.
Andrew Largeman:
...No, I'm not.
Obnoxious Girl:
Can I have something to chew on! Fuck, bamboo! Whatever!
Andrew Largeman:
I'll see what I can find.

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Andrew Largeman:
You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam:
I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman:
You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

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Sam:
Hey, I recognize you.
Andrew Largeman:
Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
Sam:
No, not from high school, from TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Andrew Largeman:
Yeah.
Sam:
Are you really retarded?
Andrew Largeman:
No.
Sam:
Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!

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