Free Enterprise

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Date created: April 2010

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Free Enterprise Vital Stats

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Release date 1998

Duration 113 min

Producer(s) Mark A. Altman, Dan Bates, Ellie Cornell...more

Director(s) Robert Meyer Burnett...more Robert Meyer Burnett...less

Writer(s) Mark A. Altman, Robert Meyer Burnett...more

Cast Eric McCormack, Carl Bressler, Ethan Glazer...more

Genre Comedy,

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Free Enterprise Quotes

Dan:
Maybe she's like Catherine Tremell in "Basic Instinct", you know? One day she's just going to plunge an ice pick into his nose.
Mark:
He'd probably enjoy that. Killed by a naked blonde who doesn't wear underwear to the strains of a Jerry Goldsmith score. Come to think of it, I'd sort of dig that myself.

Mark:
[on Rob's love life] You're pathetic.
Robert:
How's the Munchkin?
Mark:
OK, I take it back.

Tags: Love Quotes Love Quotes

Munchkin Beth:
What is your problem tonight?
Mark:
My problem? I don't have a problem. You on the other hand are an insufferable spoiled brat who can only talk about herself. I mean, the biggest joke is that you have more problems than anyone I know, yet you want to become a therapist. What are you going to do: counsel people to kill themselves? Because that's what I feel like doing after listening to you whine for an hour.
Munchkin Beth:
Is that what you really feel?
Mark:
Yes it is. Now if you don't mind, can we go back to your apartment and have sex, please, because I'm very tired and have a lot of work to do.

Tags: People Quotes People Quotes Listening Quotes Problems Quotes Work Quotes

Mark:
A musical Julius Ceasar is quite possibly the worst idea I've heard since New Coke.
Robert:
Jesus Christ, no kidding. My girlfriend bails on me and then I find out that the man I've idolized since I was two turns out to be a raving loon! I can't believe my life.
Mark:
I usually can't believe your life either. But Shatner's dementia is no reason to give up the gospel of the original series!
Robert:
Ok the man that we just met is not the man who invented the Corbomite Manuever, or the man who almost died defeating the Doomsday Machine.
Mark:
Let it go. Separate the art from the artist. This is L.A., nobody's ever who they appear to be. Other than John Tesh, who's probably exactly who he appears to be.
Robert:
No, no no, I'm sorry. Shatner is, was and ever shall be Kirk to me. I need my hero.
Mark:
What you need is a bank account.

Tags: Day Quotes Man Quotes Reason Quotes Art Quotes Life Quotes

Mark:
She made Forrest Gump look like a candidate for Mensa.

Tags: Rest Quotes

Robert:
[repeated pickup line] Is that Mac lipstick that you're wearing?

Tags:

Robert:
Joy unto you, peace and serenity, you are not of the body, would you calm the fuck down already?

Tags: Peace Quotes Joy Quotes

Tricia:
Robert!
Robert:
Hello, Tricia.
Tricia:
Brian, this is Robert.
Brian:
Oh right. The Trekkie, right?
Robert:
Fuck you both.

Tags:

Mark:
Do you wish Rhett never loved Scarlett? Rick didn't have Ilsa or Harry never loved Sally? Someone once said it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Succeed or fail, we must make the attempt, it's our nature. Now if it were up to me, as it usually is, I would order this. But its not. Because Claire is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any relationship with a man as intelligent but fantastically flakey as Robert. But I must point out the possibilities, the potential, for true love and happiness are equally great. Risk... risk is our business. That's what relationships are all about. That's why we're out there.

Tags: Relationship Quotes Love Quotes Happiness Quotes Danger Quotes Happiness Quotes

[Shatner just asked Robert why he started the fight]
Young Robert:
Well... it was something he said.
Imaginary William Shatner:
What'd he say?
Young Robert:
You really don't want to know.
Imaginary William Shatner:
I really do want to know!
Young Robert:
He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk. [pause]
Imaginary William Shatner:
Kick the little fucker's ass.

Tags:

Young Mark:
So you're saying I should engage my advanced-for-a-twelve-year-old intellect and use logic?
Imaginary William Shatner:
Logic is the other guy's schtick, but yes.

Tags: Age Quotes Saying Quotes Logic Quotes

Mark's Mom:
Mark, Mark, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to go to that movie - that "Star Track" movie.
Young Mark:
Oh, Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? "Track" is what a train goes on, okay? "Trek" is what the Enterprise goes on, okay?
Mark's Mom:
Yeah, and they say the pain of childbirth ends with labor.

Tags: Birth Quotes Pain Quotes Thought Quotes

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