Dead Man on Campus

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Date created: April 2010

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Dead Man On Campus Vital Stats

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Release date 1998

Duration 96 min

Producer(s) David Gale, Gale Anne Hurd, Maggie Malina...more

Director(s) Alan Cohn...more Alan Cohn...less

Writer(s) Anthony Abrams, Adam Larson Broder, Michael Traeger...more

Cast Tom Everett Scott, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Poppy Montgomery...more

Genre Movies,

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Dead Man On Campus Quotes

Josh Miller:
I'm not gonna commit suicide, if that's what you're thinking.
Cooper Frederickson:
Aw come on Josh, you're fucked anyway. At least this way, one of us comes out on top.
Josh Miller:
Then you kill YOURself.
Cooper Frederickson:
Naw, I just couldn't see that working.

Tags: Us Quotes

Cooper Frederickson:
You know what my dad does for a living? He cleans toilets. Yeah, he own this whole, toilet cleaning company and it's big. It's huge. And he's an incredible... asshole! [chuckles]
Cooper Frederickson:
Yeah I call him Flushles, the Toilet Cleaning Clown...

Tags: Company Quotes

Clifford 'Cliff' O'Malley:
[Josh is about to drink yellow liquid] That one's not beer!

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Cliff:
Zeke!
Zeke:
[terrified] Cliff!
Cliff:
How you been man? I haven't seen you since high school!
Zeke:
I-I thought you were dead.
Cliff:
No! But about THIS close though!

Tags: Thought Quotes

Buckley Schrank:
If you see that guy, kick him in the balls!

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Cooper Frederickson:
I need my Jimmy!
Josh Miller:
No Jimmy, repeat: no Jimmy.

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Zeke:
This is my brother's Ritalin. Ritalin's good for studying math or science, just don't try to write English papers on it or it won't make any sense. Enjoy that.

Tags: Joy Quotes

Cliff:
Do you guys ever get really horny?
Cooper Frederickson:
Depends where you're going with this.

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Cooper Frederickson:
Young man! Where have you been? I was up all night worried sick. Do you know what time it is?
Josh Miller:
I LOVE college. I love everything about it. The people, the freedom. This room. This chair. Look at this chair!
Cooper Frederickson:
You had sex last night didn't you?
Josh Miller:
That's a nice shirt.

Tags: Love Quotes Sex Quotes Love Quotes Night Quotes Time Quotes

Cliff:
They hate it when you do this. [shoots gun at cops]

Tags: Hate Quotes

Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
[after he gets caught singing a show tune by Cooper] Oh fuck me!
Cooper Frederickson:
What were you just doing?
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
What? Nothing!
Cooper Frederickson:
Oh no, don't tell me nothing, you were just singing a show tune!
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
You're crazy, I'd never do that.
Cooper Frederickson:
You can't be suicidal if you're singing show tunes!
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
I am suicidal.
Cooper Frederickson:
You're not even depressed!
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
Of course I'm depressed, look at me [hunches over]
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
I'm very fucking depressed.
Cooper Frederickson:
You fucking poser!
Matthew 'Matt' Noonan:
[loses his accent] Hey man, I'm not a fucking...
Cooper Frederickson:
You're not even British!

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Cliff:
I live in a Frat House, right? And these fuckers wanna kick me out for not observing quiet hour! [shouting]
Cliff:
Well, they can SUCK my QUIET COCK!

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