Celebrity

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Date created: April 2010

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Celebrity Vital Stats

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Release date 1998

Duration 113 min

Producer(s) Letty Aronson, J.E. Beaucaire, Richard Brick...more

Director(s) Woody Allen...more Woody Allen...less

Writer(s) Woody Allen...more Woody Allen...less

Cast Greg Mottola, Jeff Mazzola, Dick Mingalone...more

Genre Comedy,

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Celebrity Quotes

Supermodel:
I'm polymorphously perverse. It's not a flaw, it's just a weakness.

Tags:

Souvenir Hawker:
They're all genuine ceramic, and we got this rubber bulb here, you squeeze this, fill it with some washable red vegetable dye, give it a squeeze, you can make his wounds bleed. Watch in the back, there. Isn't that something?

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Lee Simon:
Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it.

Robin's Friend Cheryl:
So ironic. You go to get face work, you don't get face work, but you meet a wonderful guy, he changes your life, it's better than face work.

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Dee Bartholomew:
I ran into our Tony Gardello at the Cafe Carlyle. He had a blissed-out look like he had died and gone to heaven. How did you manage to put that smile on his face?
Robin Simon:
Using my head...

Tags: Age Quotes Smile Quotes

Lee Simon:
Just in time. Another minute, I'd have been found dead of comedy poisoning...

Tags: Comedy Quotes

Lee Simon:
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High and you f***ing blink and you're 40, you blink again and you can see movies at half price on a senior citizen's pass. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately, ask not for whom the toilet flushes.

Tags: Movies Movies Quotes Wood Quotes

Waiting Room Nurse:
I'm sorry, the doctor just doesn't do penis enlargements. We don't have the space.
Waiting Room Patient:
We're talking about 3 inches here!

Tags: Talking Quotes

Supermodel:
You're not afraid of catching germs? And you know, I'm coming down with a cold and everything...
Lee Simon:
From you I'd be willing to catch terminal cancer.

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Robin Simon:
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.

Tags: Help Quotes Self-Help Quotes Books Quotes

[sighting celebrities at a screening]
Tony Gardella:
Oh, and getting out of the elevator I see there's a famous critic.
Robin Simon:
Him, I recognize.
Tony Gardella:
Oh, he used to hate every movie. Then, he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie.

Tags: Hate Quotes Us Quotes

Robin Simon:
There aren't any ticks around here, are there? I'd hate to get Lyme disease.
Priest at Catholic Retreat:
We haven't had any casualties.

Tags: Hate Quotes

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