Neil Simon

Neil Simon

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Date created: April 2010

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Neil Simon Vital Stats

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Birthdate July 4, 1927

Zodiac Cancer

Location Bronx, New York

Country United States

Etnhnicity

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Neil Simon Quotes

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

Tags:

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Tags: humor life

I'm getting chest pains...You give me chest pains Uncle Willie.

It's my fault you get excited.

Yes, it's your fault! I only get chest pains on Wednesdays.

So come on Tuesdays.

Tags: humor

You like a cracker?

What kind of cracker?

Graham, chocolate, cocoanut, whatever you want.

Maybe just a plain cracker.

I don't have plain crackers. I got graham, chocolate and cocoanut.

Alright, a graham cracker.

They're in the kitchen, in the closet.

Maybe later.

Tags: humor

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Tags: life living

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