Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore

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Date created: April 2010

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Location Toledo, Ohio

Country United States of America

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Christopher Moore Quotes

There`s one painting that historically would have been better, ... because it was painted at the beginning of the Impressionist movement, and the one we`re using is painted later. In the script they say, `This is a very important painting because it was painted at start of the Impressionists,` and that`s not really true. It was painted a few years later. But they selected the painting for purely visual reasons -- that they would capture better on camera, that it was more appealing, that it would catch the eye better.

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There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.

Tags: humor

People, generally, suck.

Tags: humor

All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

Tags: humor science

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

Tags: humor

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.

Tags: humor

Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.

Tags: humor

Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop.

Tags: humor

She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.

Tags: humor

I've won Satan's lottery.

Tags: humor vampires

He was a writer and words were his weapons.

Tags: humor words writer

I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.

Tags: humor

Quotes of the Day

I never ever thought that I was a giggler. I was the one who could hold it together but I didn't on this... - Ashley Jensen

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