Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor

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Date created: April 2010

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Garrison Keillor Vital Stats

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Birthdate August 7, 1942

Zodiac Leo

Location Anoka, Minnesota

Country United States of America

Etnhnicity

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Garrison Keillor Quotes

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Tags: humor religion

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Tags: absurd cats humor

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

Tags: humor politics

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

Tags: humor

My generation was secretive, brooding, ambitious, show-offy, and this generation is congenial. Totally. I imagine them walking around with GPS chips that notify them when a friend is in the vicinity, and their GPSes guide them to each other in clipped electronic lady voices and they sit down side by side in a coffee shop and text-message each other while checking their e-mail and hopping and skipping around Facebook to see who has posted pictures of their weekend.

Tags: humor

When in doubt, look intelligent.

Tags: humor

It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.

Tags: behavior humor

I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe some of it myself on certain days after the sun went down if I

Tags: humor storytelling truth

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.

Tags: bikini girls sexuality

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Tags: inspirational luck

Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.

Tags: librarians

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Tags: humor

Quotes of the Day

I never ever thought that I was a giggler. I was the one who could hold it together but I didn't on this... - Ashley Jensen

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